The BBC: 95% Terrorist-Supporting

Even the holiest date on the Christian calendar is just another day for The BBC to betray all that is good about our society. Biased BBC's soothsayer Cassandra King has turned her back on the mince pies and the prezzies to reveal how al Beeb desecrated the Christmas truce and crossed no-man's land to join with our terrorist foes.

The BBC are peddling the line that the terrorist attack on the US Delta jet was in fact a "Christmas day failed bomb plot"!!!

Jesus H Christ! Did the plane actually go down? Surely they wouldn't try to hide something like that?

The BBC have a way with words dont they?

They'll never get away with it.

The truth is that the actual terrorist attack was succesful...

You'll be telling me that Neil Armstrong's moon-walk was all got up by Hollywood next.

... succesful in all but igniting the explosives

Aaaah...

which failed by a miracle and a passenger who battled the terrorist.

Don't want to poop on your party, Cassie, but the key word there might just be failed. As in failed bomb plot.

The success of the terrorist mission can be measured in more ways than just whether they brought down the airliner

Indeed.

the attempt to smuggle a bomb on a jet was successful, the fear and alarm it spread was successful, the costs and delays this attack has brought about was successful, the free advertising and media attention for the terrorists was a successful outcome for the terrorists.

Y-e-e-e-s. But as bomb plots go, it, erm, failed.

This was not a failed plot it was a 95% successful terrorist attack that succeeded in most of its aims.

Brilliant. John McCain's bid for the presidency was, ooh, at least 90% successful. And Joe Wotsit's dreary X-Factor hit was a 95% successful Xmas No 1. Have you ever considered PR as a career?

The BBC supporting terrorists and evil for years, with your money of course!

Might be me, but if I was a terrorist I'd be looking for something a bit more supportive than the words failed bomb plot. Matter of taste, I know.

Heroes Of Anti-Nazism No. 94: David Vance

Just as David Cameron is re-aligning the Tories to sweep up Lib Dem voters, so Biased BBC's David Vance is re-aligning himself with the anti-Nazi League. Perhaps.

I note that former British Conservative leader Michael Howard has accused all the mainstream parties of failing to do enough to challenge the British National Party.

Excellent. Hope Not Hate!

Well, I partly agree.

Even better. Partly.

The BNP's arguments should be addressed

Real progress, David. May I call you David?

but that is something ALL the major parties run a mile from doing.

Are you sure? They gave Griffin a good run for his money on Question Time.

Unfettered immigration and our disturbing loss of national sovereignty are the twin issues that the BNP make hay from

So they say. Though mainly it's the Islamophobia.

but the REASON they can do so is that the Lib/Lab/Cons have run away from dealing with these crunch topics.

In what way, precisely?

It's no use complaining about the BNP when you refuse to engage on the very areas of policy where the Lib/Lab/Cons have spectacularly failed to make any progress.

The economy? Not the BNP's strong point.

Labour and the Libs want us to be a multiculti amorphous sub-branch of EU central

Oh, er, yes. Or rather, no.

and we have had David Cameron today claiming that he had much in common with Liberal values!

Liberal is not yet the insult in the UK that it is in redneck America... or in your own household, David.

Can they not see how this alienates the people from their elitism?

Advanced Vance™: Elitism = People or policies I disagree with.

The BNP will continue to grow UNTIL one of the three major Parties comes out in clear unambiguous terms about the menace of unfettered immigration...

It's not unfettered. Nor is it intrinsically a menace.

…about the scandal of the EU's absorption of British sovereignty and it seems to me that this will not be anytime soon...

So your strategy for dealing with the BNP is… to sound just like them. Excellent move, um, David.

Ethnically Adulterated And Contaminated Compliments Of The Season

Try as it might, the world of Biased BBC cannot quite muster the bonhomie necessary to get us all through the holiday season. Special mention must go to David Vance's Irish blog, which has on offer a weird mixture: On one hand, kitsch You Tube Xmas carols; on the other a diatribe of such grumpy malice / sheer misanthropy/ crystalline analysis that the words Bah Humbug actually surface at the bitter end.

Yuletide thanks, then, to the redoubtable Andrew McCann, whose bracing monologues have been a feature of Biased BBC and A Tangled Web for some time. His profound sense of proportion is best summed up in the open letter he wrote to the BBC last summer, demanding more coverage of John McCain:

I certainly do not want to see someone (Future President Obama) whose paternal ancestry shares the same religion as the evil-doers who killed 3,000 people in New York City seven years ago

Here then, Mr McCann's blogging equivalent of In The Bleak Midwinter, (with comments disabled, as is usual for his sermons):

Although I wish most of you a very Happy Christmas, I'll find it hard to practice what I preach when it comes to Yuletide jollity. For I can never be truly happy/merry whilst the country that I love continues its death rattle thanks to the demographic and financial catastophes being visited upon it by this foul government.

Seasons Greetings to you, too, my good man.

For when the Christmas festivities are over, we'll still be subjected to Labour's cruel rule for another God knows how many months until Slug, Lord Ponce-onby, Ed (deserves a kick in the) Balls, Harridan Harperson and the rest of the traitors are unceremoniously booted from power.

Slug! Lord Ponce-onby! Kick Ed's Balls! Why, sir, you spoil us with your Christmas Cracker jovial political humour!

Yes, I agree with Pete Moore and others that Cameron's team are far from the mould of Thatcherite conservatism this country desperately needs a good dose of. On the other hand, anything short of the resurrection of the Khmer Rouge would be preferable to this stinking camarilla.

Anything short of the Khmer Rouge? Combat 18 perhaps?

What follows is an economics gloom-fest based on a 10-year-old article by Hamish McRae. And then….

What about all the other ways in which we have become poorer as a country!? When McRae wrote this article, Britain still had significant areas of independence from the EU; it was distinctly less ethnically adulterated and contaminated than it is now; the cancer of radical Islam had yet to materialise - encouraged by the rampant multiculturalism nurtured by the Left;

Impossible not to be moved by the sheer spirit of Christmas in that phrase: ethnically adulterated and contaminated….

the question of the Union with Scotland was not in any doubt as the Mary Shelley devolution experiment was still in its infancy; apologists for IRA terror had not been elevated to high office; we had better financed/equipped armed forces than we have today - even though they were not called upon to undertake international ventures at the time. All these facts represent the scars of more than a decade of Left-wing rule.

You tell 'em Andrew. And the fact that Scottish devolution and the Ulster Assembly both resulted from democratic votes counts for nothing, either.

Please forgive me for my 'bah humbug' attitude this Christmas.

Not at all. God Bless Us Every One!

Till December 27th, ciao!

You've earned your rest, Andy. Take a month off. Or more.

Charicteristically Luvie Propoganda

Biased BBC has two languages all of its own. One is the legendary Advanced Vance™, a dialect spoken largely by its leader, David Vance.

The other is an odd collection of words and catchphrases, most of them common to other grumpy mad right-wing fresh, alternative blog sources, but with the occasional newly coined bon mot.

The most common word in this patois is Beeboid. Today, puppy-dog keen poster Paddy has published his draft definition. With lexicograpy this good, an entry in the Oxford English Dictionary cannot be far away.

Beeboid N.

1.Member of BBC staff (Family or supporter) charicteristically anti capitalist, anti christian, anti semitic, anti american, anti science, anti tory anti western anti US republican, anti family anti royalist anti british anti murdoch anti private sector anti war anti british army anti RAF anti royal navy anti soldier sailor or airman,pro taleban, pro terrorist (IRA or islamist)pro communist pro green pro choice pro gay pro chavez pro palestinian pro castro/cuba pro al gore multiculturist pro union internationalist pro european obama obsessed pro US democrat pro alternative medicine pro islam anti democratic elitist luddite. Typically only reads the guardian usually ex member of swp or CND red wedge anti nazi league

2. Brainwashed member of the public blind to the above.

assoc. words see: Guardianista, Islington luvie, artschool trot.

derived from Beeb or BBC :anachronistic throw back to the 1950s when paternalist propoganda was encouraged on state monopolistic broadcaster. Now has no real role but remains the propaganda arm or the labour party/union movement/ green/extreme islam

Couldn't have put it better myself. Though the bit about having no real role might come as a bit of a surprise to the huge number of people enjoying, oooh, Top Gear, Radio 2, Today, Cranford, Chris Moyles, The Apprentice, Strictly Come Dancing, Have I Got News For You, Attenborough, East Enders and The Thick Of It. To name a few.

Killing In The Name Of: Your Home Contents Policy.

An Englishman's home is his castle. And the home of a Biased BBC chap comes equipped with means of lethal assault, which an incoming Tory Government will apparently encourage him to use on burglars (and presumably anyone else who strays within his own personal Green Zone without prior security clearance). Leading social commentator Martin has discovered that the BBC Quislings are not being supportive enough of such sensible measures.

Typical BBC.

Yeah. But how?

On the attack over the Tories plan to change the law on criminals getting a good kicking.

Are we sure that's Tory policy?

Radio 5 phone in has some fat ugly female beeboid spouting her left wing liberal garbage

Are there any BBC women who do not fit that bill?

spouting her left wing liberal garbage about 'poor criminals'

They wouldn't need to be criminals if they were rich. Be fair.

and (spouting about) all those nasty right wing callers thinking it's OK to kill someone who might only be in your home to get a bit of cash for some smack.

Heroin would be a valid medical reason to burgle you, so no to murder on that. But if they need money to pay off a loan shark, then you can kill them. So long as you do it painfully.

I have something called Google which if you type in the beeboids name gives you pictures of them. Anyway it was Shelagh fogherty, she is fat and very ugly.

Valid grounds for summary execution in itself.

Can't wait for the Sharia to come into force here. Female beeboids kept at home, beaten and raped on a daily basis. They will love that.

And so will you, Martin. Be honest.

Oi, Gandalf: Shut It.

Just as the Eskimos are supposed to have 40 words for snow, Biased BBC's acclaimed Ulster dialect Advance Vance™ has myriad ways of showing an unhealthy fascination with / a creepy disgust about / a rounded interest in homosexuality:

I see that Andrew Marr was able to provide gay activitist and luvvie Ian McKellan

AV™: A gay man on TV? That's disgraceful.

Marr was able to provide …. Ian McKellan with a soap-box this morning.

AV™: He interviewed him like thousands of other guests. But gays are always good for a whinge.

McKellan is able to spout

AV™: He opens his mouth and words come out. How dare he?

all sorts of imagined "homophobic" allegations against our society in general

AV™: Gays have only one problem we need to worry about. They're homosexual.

without any challenge from Marr.

AV™: (Sir Ian was talking - though only briefly - about anti-bullying initiatives in schools). Marr should have spoken up for bullies.

The BBC is an established forum...

AV™: Established forum = a broadcaster broadcasting stuff which I find uncomfortable for reasons I'd rather not discuss.

for the advocacy of...

AV™: Advocacy = taking any interest at all in a subject I dislike

gay propaganda.

AV™: Gay propaganda = anything which reminds the world that individuals can live in ways I disapprove of.

Imagine A Warped Idea Of Heaven. It's Easy If You Try.

Just when you think the BBC couldn't get any worse, they shock you by doing something even nastier. Biased BBC's resident fortune-teller Cassandra King has consulted her crystal ball and found out who the Beeb will be sending Valentines to come February. Marxist thugs, that's who:

The BBC has a strange collective love affair with leftist dictators the world over,

Must be why Mugabe has banned them. He's embarrassed by all the love.

they seem to forgive any sin and any wrongdoing and overlook any crimes however brutal if the object of their corporate affection is Marxist/leftist/dictatorial socialist/left wing revolutionary.

Unlike that nice Mr Murdoch, who pulled Chris Patten's book from his publishing company lest if offend the Chinese leadership.

This groupthink soft spot leads them to support the grubby Cuban dictatorship of Castro and his nasty brother,

Apparently it was only a greedy agent who stopped Fidel being signed to replace Wogan.

BTW they would be ejected in a free election straight away which is obviously why Cuba does not have free elections.

And I always thought it was the poor showing of the Lib Dems in Havana North East.

Torture,murder,brutality,corruption,poverty and thug rule seem to be fine and dandy to the BBC.

How else will they get the staff to move to Salford?

I have often wondered why the BBC is drawn to such despots who squash freedom like stepping on a bug,

Be fair. Sir Alex Ferguson refuses to speak to them.

is it the ultimate power these despots wield?

Almost certainly. That and the T-shirts.

Is it the love of the dictatorship where one message and one way is the the rule enforced by brutality and cruelty?

Mainly the T-shirts. Che looking pensive. That kind of thing.

The BBC seem to have a perverted wish to be the Marxist revolutionary struggles mouthpiece, one will, one desire, one goal, the singular will bound by the socialist ideal?

Not? sure? why? that? is? framed? as? a? question?

To normal freedom loving democrats the thought of living in a nightmare totalitarian thugocracy is a vision of hell but to the BBC collective it must be their warped idea of heaven.

Must be.

Imagine the BBC as the sole mouthpiece of a dictatorship the power and authority to lord it over the common scum, the prestige and wealth and connections it would give them.

Must be the unpublished fourth verse. A little harder to sing than Imagine there's no countries. It isn't hard to do. But arguably truer to Lennon's vision.

It makes my skin crawl to think of the BBC reaching out for their goal of a new EUSSR dictatorship.

Be careful. That's what they want you to think.

Produces Large Onion From Waistcoat

Anyone who doubts that crocodiles do produce tears has not read David Vance's farewell to Terry Wogan today. Apparently A Light Has Gone Out At The BBC. Police are looking for an Ulsterman with a large catapult.

Sorry to see Sir Terry Wogan broadcast his final early morning show.

The Muslims have seen him off. Or the gays. No, wait. The Feminazis.

I think he was one of the few stars left in the BBC crown

Only Jeremy Clarkson left.

and when Chris Evans take his place in January I shall not be listening.

Unless he says something you'd like to whinge about.

Sir Terry's genial charm, lack of vulgarity

Say that again...

lack of vulgarity

I thought you said that.

and common decency

That, too. Could this be the same Biased BBC which thinks A Cunt Like A Stamped Bat is a hilarious witticism?

will be missed by many people and he leaves the BBC looking a poorer place.

Funny you should say that. Given how hard you work to make every moment the BBC produces feel like the end of civilisation itself.

Dropping Anchor In Poo Bay

Biased BBC has been championing for some time now a clear-out in the stale ranks of BBC Comedy, festering as it is with Marxists, Climate Change Fascists and Muslim Groupies. A vital task, but where might we find some fresh talent to lead Auntie Beeb in bold new directions?

Why, here's B-BBC regular the Beebinator with four lines of sparkling wit and repartee! Let's kill The Now Show and give Arnie's British cousin a crack at the chuckle crown:

Beeboid 1: Hello sailor fancy some shore leave

Beeboid 2: yes, shall we drop anchor in poo bay

Beeboid 3: i've got cocaine can i join in as well

Beeboid 4: i'm doing research into homosexuality

in a warming climate due to catastrophic

human induced climate change, can i watch

Ho. Um. Ho.

FAQ FAQ FAQ 2

The BBC's Environment Satan, Richard Black, asked a humdinger today: Why are virtually all climate "sceptics" men? It turns out that this was an appalling thing to say, so Biased BBCers marked the occasion by asking some searching questions of their own:

Why not ask why are most lesbians fat and ugly?

Apart from the ones in your special video collection.

Why do lots of beeboids take drugs?

Because the Taliban pays them in smack.

Why does the BBC believe that Gordon Brown can control the rise in global temperature, when he can't control the rise in mass immigration into Britain?

Because he's found a button marked Global Thermostat, but he can't find the magic wand which will make foreigners go away.

Why do biased environ-mental propagandists spend so much time polluting the planet flying en masse all round the globe reading The Guardian?

Because the in-flight magazines to Copenhagen are even worse than Flybe's.

Why is it the BBC always dress to the left (or rather flop limply)

It's gay code. It means they're gagging for a goat herd fantasy with Martin. On Hampstead Heath.

and bring Sarah Palin into everything if they can do some damage whilst Saint Obama gets a free ride with his unpopular big government ways?

Because Obama is an idiot and Sarah is not. Or something like that.

Why is it that the BBC manages to turn me from meek to angry of Mayfair?

Because all of the news makes you angry and the BBC provides most of it. Plus you live in Scunthorpe.

Why is it that those sceptical of the man-made global warming science, christians, right wingers, libertarians, little englanders, tories, against-multiculturalism, against islamification, against big government, anti-EU etc, etc should pay the licence fee?

Because it gives Marcus Brigstocke intense pleasure.

Why are virtually all Guardian "readers" handwringing pussies?

It's complicated, but basically all the assholes and dicks ended up somewhere else. Can't quite locate it just now, but it had a familiar ring.