Showing posts with label The Terrible Truth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Terrible Truth. Show all posts

Sunday, 24 January 2010

The House On Poo River


It is well known that The BBC is the architect of our national decline. But who would have guessed that the BBC has been keeping quiet an architectural disaster of its very own? New Biased BBC commenter Alcuin - apparently an Eighth Century Northumbrian monk - has the low-down:


Gay, Left, metropolitan and secular (or should I say, anti-Christian).


No smokers, GSOH preferred. But that's not why we're here.


Small wonder that the most pernicious groupthink has become ingrained in the most powerful opinion forming organisation in the country.


Agreed: There's something funny going on at The BBC. But what?


One day, this edifice of sickly meringue and cream will collapse,


Jesus H Christ! White City is just a great big pavlova!


revealing the sewer underneath.


And they built it over the foulest drains in London! Oh shit!


Then, many will ask "why did no one tell us all this?".


They spiked the architects' coffees for laughs. And by the time the Beeb realised what they'd done, it was too late to admit it. Who were these addled draughtsmen?


"All this" being what the BBC has concealed from us about Trots, Muslims and Arabs.


Trots, Muslims and Arabs? Not come across them in the Architectural Digest. No matter - they're off the list for our loft conversion.


It’s a good basic axiom that if you take a quart of ice-cream and a quart of dog faeces and mix ‘em together the result will taste more like the latter than the former - Mark Steyn.


Far be it from me, Brother Alcuin, but don't you think that's one dessert/sewage metaphor too many?


Saturday, 12 December 2009

Something About Dancing Rabbits And Mad People


There are many unpalatable truths in the world of Biased BBC, but the biggest one is that everyone lets you down in the end, even the Conservatives. Much wailing and gnashing, then, when the Tories, far from kicking the PM's climate-saving efforts at Copenhagen, offer more of the same.


As ever, soothsayer Cassandra King has the definitive take:


Its like we are locked into a nightmare reality where right is wrong and lies are the truth and black is white and where so called intelligent people act like cretins and get applauded for it, where gibberish is spoken and people cheer.


Couldn't put it better myself.


Led by a certified mental case into ruination, with a so called opposition just as keen to follow the madness, its like peering into the mind of a demented lunatic,


A Tangled Web, and no mistake.


all it needs are dancing rabbits and talking turtles!


Plus Grizzly Mamas.


I am struggling to comprehend the utter madness of it all, its like witnessing the dance of the insane through the eyes of the mad.


Brave of you to be so harsh about Biased BBC. Kudos, Cassie.


Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Full Meal Jacket: The Director's Lunch


In the spirit of Know Your Enemy, Biased BBC's leading intellectual, Paddy, has produced a cut-out-and-keep guide to BBC types. In case an offender has moved into your neighbourhood, here is Paddy's invaluable profile of a typical Beeboid.


Their view is middleclass white...


Will David Vance be happy with us complaining that the BBC's worldview is middle-class and white?


...angst ridden post colonial champagne socialist.


That's more like it, though it's also a perfect description of DV's hero Elvis Costello.


They love the unions but wouldnt go for a drink with a member of the great unwashed.


Perhaps we should get the unwashed some deodorant. That might help.


Their view of the north is the stereotypical Billy elliot/ full monty patronising dogooding labour one.


We prefer Northerners who never do any good. And never dance, either.


Their view of religion is coloured by their frustration at the lifeless catholic lite services of the anglican church at their public school.


Yeah…like that new Head of Religion - wossname - Aaqil Ahmed


They want to rebell against it because of its stodgy conformity. Their view of business is informed by the aprentice and 'Wall street'


Your view of spelling is getting fuzzier by the second.


Their view of the forces is informed by Platoon and Full Meal Jacket.


Full Meal Jacket = very large baked potato. Which is a disgraceful way to think of the forces. What's wrong with good old M*A*S*H?


They are suspicious of anyone who voluntarily wants to handle a gun.


Just…point…it…the…other…way…please...


They want sexual freedom but not for heterosexuals.


Must have missed that broadcast… are they demanding that sex should only take place in the marital bed? Or that hetero coupling shouldn't happen at all?


They want religious freedom but not for Christians.


Exactly. Songs Of Praise a restraint on freedom. And The Daily Service. And Thought For The Day.


They want us to cut carbon but allow them all to visit Bali/nepal/Cuba.


With a stopover to blow kisses at Obama.


Want us to cut down on wastefull car journeys but take 400 people to Glastonbury.


Why don't they give some airtime to sensible people? Like Richard Hammond, James May....or Jeremy Clarkson?


Oops sorry Started to rant again... anyway you get my drift


Drift Away...