Monday, 31 August 2009

Muslims. Paedos. No Difference.

It falls to all great leaders to learn the bitter truth that not everyone has the stomach for the fight, no matter how brave or principled their cause may be.

Such is the fate of Biased BBC's visionary David Vance, a no-nonsense Ulsterman, who has today called for a new campaign against BBC bias - the demand that al-Beeb should label all sex offenders by their religion (but only when they're Muslim).

The sad news is that two of his colleagues, the treacherous Natalie Solent and the deviant sue, have demurred, as have a number of regular posters. Shame be their name.

The good news is that there are still some brave stalwarts. Here is the Roll Call of Heroes:

David Vance: Passwala, who was convicted of sex offences in 1996, is described as Asian, 5ft 7in tall, of stocky build with black/grey hair and a full beard."

Plus there's a photo. That should help the public identify him.

"Asian", eh? Mmmm,

Mmmm indeed. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I think there's another word that the BBC appears to have overlooked.

Orangeman? Catholic? Coal miner?


Aaaah, right. They left out....Muslim. Of course.

Allan@Aberdeen: Taken from the practices of their prophet who is seen as 'the perfect man' and is to be emulated by muslims, doesn't that make all muslim males a danger to women, especially white, western women?

We're all living in fear, Allan. And not just the women. But it's good to know there's a feminist among us.

David Vance has thought of another problem with the BBC's report: Wonder what Chinese people think about this? They're Asian, aren't they?

Killer point, David. Only slightly undermined that the man in the photo doesn't look remotely Chinese.

Anonymous clearly has forensic training. Though perhaps not at FBI level:

Mentioning he was muslim would have helped to trace him. Muslims tend to live together and most attend mosques. It would give imans a chance to ask their flock if they knew of his whereabouts. They also dress differently and have beards which would narrow the search.

Excellent. Condemned by his beard. And he could do nothing about it. Except perhaps shave. Oh, and avoid the mosque.

Hilbert says what he presumes we're all thinking: if we need a word that takes in both his Asianess and his Muslimness, how about Paki?

Not sure that absolutely nails the prejudice about his religion. But it's close...

John Stephens: Of course Religion is relevant to criminality, and Islam is significant because of the way it encourages sexual deviancy (from our laws) and affects rehabilitation.

It's sinful if a Muslim is not fiddling with kiddies. We all know that.

Friday, 28 August 2009

Dr Stalin Will See You Now

The privilege of following Biased BBC is that hidden worlds are revealed to your frankly terrified gaze: Like that bit in The Matrix, where poor Neo discovers we're all just fodder for some nameless, controlling evil.

The Chosen One at Biased BBC is the similarly charismatic, enigmatic, stroppy loner, David Vance. Lately, Keanu Vance and his bias dudes have been putting their heads through the melty mirror to reveal the terrible, totalitarian horror that is... the British health service. And guess who has been keeping us all in the dark about this hell-on-earth?

No waaay, dude: Not the BBC. Again.

nrg: (The NHS) is Stalinistic in nature and it kills. Not in the same league as the Gulags, but do give it time.

Say it can't be true. Little Jimmy's just about to have his grommets done.

It is a matter of satisfaction to me that as you mistakenly trust the socialists to medicate you at their discretion you and your family will die in a pile of their own dirt on a trolley after waiting 10 hours for treatment.


you really believe that the Beeboid vermin do not spew propagada on behalf of the Stalinist killing machine that is the NHS?

Until (gasp) now. (Wail into tissue)

Really? My goodness, but you are and blind lying arsehole.

nrg, I know I'm emotional. But could you work on the bedside manner a bit?

David Vance has the big picture:

do not accept that the NHS is anything other than a neo Stalinist projection of socialist values long past its sell-by date.

Agent Smith was bad enough. But Stalin? Again?

If it were a patient, leftists would be booking it an appointment with Dignatas.

Mother! Cancel Jimmy's appointment. We'll get him a gerbil instead.

DJ is prepping 150 ml of sarcasm to calm down the BBC's attempts to contextualise a critical report about the NHS:

And while we're on the subject, what about all those patients Harold Shipman didn't kill? Are we losing sighe of the fact Harold was a great doctor, providing he didn't murder you?

It's bad enough that Jimmy's hearing is fuzzy. Please God...don't make him lose his sighe as well. Whatever that is.

Perhaps the local Infirmary just needs a new boss or two. A tough-guy Tory, maybe. What do you think Sam Duncan?

the finest collection of managerial geniuses on the planet couldn't make a Stalinist bodge-job like the NHS work.

OK. But at least the carers are trying their best? Surely, Neil the Plumber?

One aspect that I haven't heard in the discussion of the care of the elderly is the racial one.

True. What could you be getting at?

Quite simply put, I contend that people tend to have more fellow-feeling for people of their own ethnic/racial group.

Dear God. If Jimmy survives the Stalinist death gangs, the Islamics will get him instead. Or possibly the Poles.

I suspect this isn't so much an issue at the professional level of doctors and nurses, but rather one of nursing/care assistants and health visitors.

If one of those domestics lays a finger, I swear I'll do time.

I think we all need cheering up. David Vance, show us the sunny side of bias-hunting. Know any good jokes?

The punchline is that the NHS is a corrupted bloated bureaucracy more interested in itself than in patients.

Mother, sell Jimmy to the travelling fair. We'll need the cash for our BUPA fees.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

Stabbing's Bad. Unless You Skewer Swampy.

David Vance, the fire-breathing Ulster Loyalist who gives Biased BBC its, um, gravitas, has no time for the Climate Campers. And neither, amazingly, do his sidemen....

David Vance: I see that the eco-wackos will be out in force today, causing disruption for Londoners and costing the taxpayer lots of cash.

I agree. Should we set a limit on public gatherings to save the taxpayer some cash? While you're on, how much does the much-disputed Ulster parade season cost to police?

Yet if one reads this report on the "Climate Camp" from the BBC one could be forgiven for thinking this is an outing from the Salvation Army rather than a hard left rabble

Having trouble with my browser, I think. My version is a straight account of the event. Have you enabled some special filter?

with nothing better to do but threaten and disrupt the lawful activities of other citizens.

Must have missed the legislation which removed public protest as a lawful activity.

Note the casual slur on the police

Browser trouble again. No sign of a slur on my screen.

whose liberal bosses seem to have responded to the previous media onslaught by "building relationships" with these loons.

How queer! The police talking to people who will be exercising their right to gather in public. They'll be talking to the minorities next.

cockney: I'd estimate that 80% of people were perfectly happy with the police's approach last time

Possibly not an exhaustive survey, considering that a non-participant
ended up dead after being knocked down by a policeman.

I see Stratford is on the list. Hopefully a few dispersing West Ham & Millwall fans will say hello on their way past.

Yesss! Eco-protestors bad. Knife-wielding football hooligans good.

DJ: The only difference between what happened at the footy last night and what's going to happen today is the supposed cause the scumbags in question claim to be fighting for.

Excellent point. The BBC needs to realise:

1. Tribal rivalry between footy fans is at the very least equivalent to concern for the environment.
2. Stabbing people is par for the course when you want to reduce CO2 emissions.

pounce: for some strange reason the bBC has posted up 8 meeting points for people who wish to partake in anarchy for the next week or so.

Out-fecking-rageous. Oh... what's this?
Reuters are naming 5 locations. Blimey - the Torygraph gives 6, and the Independent names 12! Even the money-men's bible, the FT, gives us 11!

As a so called responsible Impartial News outlet ...

Not sure how that fails impartiality. It's information, not a point of view.

...with a remit to those who pay the TV tax. (Unlike a lot of these so called protesters)

Outstanding research, pounce. How did you manage to check that fact?

Is it right for the bBC to be seen taking sides with a political organization whose remit for the next week or so is to cause as much trouble for the people they will target,

Quite right. But what about the other media who published the meeting points? If you get going on a Biased FT blog, I'll kick start a Biased Telegraph.

Tuesday, 25 August 2009

Is That A Wheelbrace In Your Pocket Or...

The ground-breaking tribute act that is Robert S McNamara - a permanently enraged BBC critic pretending he's a dead US diplomat - is back. And so is his tyre iron.

Robert's trusty tool has been lying in wait for swine-flu victims for a couple of weeks now. But a typically-thoughful Biased BBC piece - on a Labour MP walking out of a Muslim wedding where men and women were kept apart - brings it glinting into daylight.

I've got no sympathy for this guy.

Are you sure he's looking for it?

He should know by now - especially if he's got a large number of Mohammedans in his constituency - that Islam treats women (and homosexuals and infidels, especially Jews) like sewage.

I wondered why my drains had been clogged lately.

Ignorance is not an excuse.

It's practically compulsory on Biased BBC

It's nobody's fault but his own for (no doubt) mindlessly repeating the 'Islam is a peaceful, tolerant religion with Skittles and unicorns' mantra,

No doubt.

a peaceful, tolerant religion with Skittles and unicorns' mantra, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth.

Spot on. Skittles is actually a Tory concept, like spinsters on bicycles and cricket on the village green. A New Labour MP would be down the Skateboard Park with da kids instead. And unicorns are definitely Lib Dem.

He should've sat there and let Islam's true nature reveal itself to him like a tyre iron around the back of his head.

That is a mighty tyre iron you've got there. First Paul Gambaccini. Then Swine-Flu Zombies. Now Jim Fitzpatrick MP.

Hell, he's lucky he didn't get his head sawed off to cries of 'Allahu Ackbar!' and ululations,

He probably brought the newlyweds a nice toaster from John Lewis. Otherwise they'd have done the head-sawing thing. For sure.

Update: Robert will have some entertainment on his swine-flu watch....

That ball-room dancing faggotry program is starting again soon. Great news, huh?

Monday, 24 August 2009

The Otterly EVIL Power Of The BBC

The saintly David Vance has been doing the Lord's work and pointing out the many moral failings of the devilish Beeb. Today, he's posted a slab from a new book by professional grump leading commentator Theodore Dalrymple.

Its theme: The ten-month-old hot topic of Jonathan Ross's potty mouth. St Vance is delighted with Dalrymple's denunciation of Ross's humour:

"a tasteless sexual joke...merely pointless and crude..... likely to be offensive as well as crude."

If there's one thing Biased BBC stands for, it's an end to tasteless, offensive and crude broadcasting on the BBC. Perhaps we could learn from the way Biased BBC conducts its own business.

What follows is drawn from the last two weeks of B-BBC discussions:

servile, self-serving, extremely supid, educationally sub-normal fools

demonising stinking Liberal Facism primary newlabour propaganda platforn gouging Pravda crimethink prolefeed effing breathless Beeboid stinking, lying, cheating, grasping stinking cesspit stinking, lying, nepotistic extorting biased BBC ordinary people... hate your fucking guts you just HAVE to break their fucking elitist, hypocritical heads open growing public visceral hatred force for evil necrotizing BBC has tried to strip Britain of its moral values and identity an object of ridicule Frank Gardner (the Muslim lover boy who was crippled by them) East Germany in the 1960-70s' daily vile management of news to promote Gordon full of crap drug addicts lies lies lies socialist propaganda gay left liberals a very detailed attempt to subvert and then destroy the UK ecofanatic/government stooge/greenie nutter the socialist broadcasting company Language of Fear eco-twat suppresses inconvenient news habitual liars John Simpson draging his fat arse stinking, extorting, lying, nepotistic and biased BBC Stinking liars especially nauseous Stalin era Soviet speak war against any semblance of someone trying to think logically a perverted love of protecting criminal gansters everywhere a constant carnival of left-wing crap the Beeboid-Homosexual lobby pathetically anti-people, pro authority leftard shite The BBC and Mandelson…go together like sewage and typhus Fops The otterly EVIL power of The BBC twisted, third rate amateurs public parasites wanking on lazy inbred twats Fat ugly female beeboid a sick joke expert at sabotaging civilian moral and the armys fighting resolve extreme, raving Leftism a cult infection mind-fucking and manipulation putrid the bBC is all for dummying the use of down hates the British The BBC are ramming it home like a sex starve male beeboid on Hampstead Heath with a virgin rent boy nauseating spectacles SCARED of Islam in the pay of the EU Corrupt The BBC should be crushed I am no supporter of the BNP, but…

Questions, Questions.....

What could the otterly EVIL power of The BBC be? Perhaps a hidden message in one of Attenborough's aquatic-mammal epics...

What tragicomic accident led someone to type out the words: extremely supid, educationally sub-normal fools?

Gansters everywhere... Cornish pasties turned out by the Mafia. Lord knows what the meat is....

But it would take a heart of stone not to laugh out loud at the hero who typed: the bBC is all for dummying the use of down...

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Let's Parler Advanced Vance

Getting the most out of the treasure-chest that is Biased BBC requires a bit of effort. Most of all, it's vital to master its distinctive language, Advanced Vance, named after David Vance, the robust Ulster Loyalist who guides the bias-bashers.

Thankfully, our Modern Languages unit has studied the use of this dialect and turned it into a series of easy-to-follow lessons:

Lesson Numero 94. At the Supermarket.

Franc, le chef de deli: Bonjour, monsieur. Can I 'elp?

DV: I am intrigued* that humus is on special offer.

Franc: Mais oui, m'sieur. Buy One Get One Free. Cest un vrai BOGOF...

DV: No mention, I see, of their refusal to recognise Israel's right to exist.

Franc: Quel horreur! Tesco?

DV: Humus... but don't let it disturb your nauseating complacency. I note that you cannot bring yourselves to use the T-word**, either...

Franc: Vair' sorry. Taramasalata is, 'ow you say, off...

DV: A symbol of your moral degeneracy, no doubt.

Franc: Mais j'ai un tasty Jerusalem artichoke...

DV: I wonder why the BBC has such a problem reporting the bogus claim made upon that fine city by the Religion of Peace***

Franc: Above ma pay grade, m'sieur. Peut-ĂȘtre you could calm durn with notre vin du jour? A cheeky leedle rosĂ©...

Martin (for it is he): Pink? Reminds me of a lust-driven male Beeboid ramming himself into the tight pink ars...

DV: Yes indeed, but not just now...any chance of duck a l'Orange?

* = Pissed Off. As in: I'm intrigued that you've given me a parking ticket, mate....

** = Terrorism. Or possibly Tourette's.

*** = Islam. Because they all want to kill us in our beds.

Apologies to the late Miles Kingston

Saturday, 22 August 2009

Like A Virgin. On Hampstead Heath.

Concern is growing for Biased BBC's star social commentator Martin.

Fresh from the revelation that he has been cruising gay dating sites to, ahem, protect those with sensitive dispositions, comes further news of his daring.

Furious about the Lockerbie prisoner transfer, he reaches deep into his subconscious for the perfect metaphor:

The narrative is clear. To the people of Scotland if you want honest upstanding Government vote LIEBOUR not SNP.

The devious bastards. Who dreamt all this up?

This whole thing was a man trap set my Queen Mandy

Your Queen Mandy?

a man trap set my Queen Mandy and Salmond (with an over inflated ego as well as belly) to stitch up the SNP.

(Martin, a word to the wise: Salmond leads the SNP. Are you saying he stitched up his own party to please Labour?

So Queen Mandy is fingered (he'd like that)

Y-e-e-e-s. And what about the BBC?

It does make you wonder if there is anything a male beeboid wouldn't to or allow inserted into a body orifice for Liebour.


The BBC are ramming it home


ramming it home like a sex starve male beeboid on Hampstead Heath with a virgin rent boy.

Martin, I'm not sure you're being precise enough there. Can we have a bit more detail?

Oh... and are you often troubled by your fantasies?

We can talk. Man to man.