Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Full Meal Jacket: The Director's Lunch


In the spirit of Know Your Enemy, Biased BBC's leading intellectual, Paddy, has produced a cut-out-and-keep guide to BBC types. In case an offender has moved into your neighbourhood, here is Paddy's invaluable profile of a typical Beeboid.


Their view is middleclass white...


Will David Vance be happy with us complaining that the BBC's worldview is middle-class and white?


...angst ridden post colonial champagne socialist.


That's more like it, though it's also a perfect description of DV's hero Elvis Costello.


They love the unions but wouldnt go for a drink with a member of the great unwashed.


Perhaps we should get the unwashed some deodorant. That might help.


Their view of the north is the stereotypical Billy elliot/ full monty patronising dogooding labour one.


We prefer Northerners who never do any good. And never dance, either.


Their view of religion is coloured by their frustration at the lifeless catholic lite services of the anglican church at their public school.


Yeah…like that new Head of Religion - wossname - Aaqil Ahmed


They want to rebell against it because of its stodgy conformity. Their view of business is informed by the aprentice and 'Wall street'


Your view of spelling is getting fuzzier by the second.


Their view of the forces is informed by Platoon and Full Meal Jacket.


Full Meal Jacket = very large baked potato. Which is a disgraceful way to think of the forces. What's wrong with good old M*A*S*H?


They are suspicious of anyone who voluntarily wants to handle a gun.


Just…point…it…the…other…way…please...


They want sexual freedom but not for heterosexuals.


Must have missed that broadcast… are they demanding that sex should only take place in the marital bed? Or that hetero coupling shouldn't happen at all?


They want religious freedom but not for Christians.


Exactly. Songs Of Praise a restraint on freedom. And The Daily Service. And Thought For The Day.


They want us to cut carbon but allow them all to visit Bali/nepal/Cuba.


With a stopover to blow kisses at Obama.


Want us to cut down on wastefull car journeys but take 400 people to Glastonbury.


Why don't they give some airtime to sensible people? Like Richard Hammond, James May....or Jeremy Clarkson?


Oops sorry Started to rant again... anyway you get my drift


Drift Away...


4 comments:

  1. Yeah, well, what can you say?

    If you are going to fight imaginary bias, it makes life a lot easier to also imagine a set of cartoonish adversaries who are somehow all powerful and manipulative to the wider populace, yet bumbling, stodgy cretins to those plucky few with the superpowers to see THE TRUTH BENEATH THE LIES.

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  2. "Full Meal Jacket = very large baked potato. Which is a disgraceful way to think of the forces. What's wrong with good old M*A*S*H?"

    Absolute. Fucking. Genius.

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  3. Do you have a full meal jacket on Hamburger Hill?

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  4. Ex-Anon

    Do you have a full meal jacket on Hamburger Hill?

    With relish.

    ReplyDelete