The Wrong Johnson

Forget all the crude pro-Labour guff which makes each day on the BBC a torture-chamber of Blair/Brown propaganda.

It's just chicken feed. Feast your eyes instead on this, the ultimate provocation:

We are indebted to Biased BBC regular Teddy Bear, who makes clear the treachery dripping out of every pixel:

The BBC headline on the story seems designed to make sure any reader would not bother with it,

Wouldn't they just say: This Is Boring. Don't Read It? Or not publish it at all?

and doesn't even make clear who is involved: Johnson saves woman from 'oiks'

That blonde-haired geezer beaming from the page looks familiar. Might he be the Johnson in question?

Bear in mind the Home Secretary is also named Johnson.

So that's their game! And Alan's grey cow's lick is the, um, exact replica of Boris's blonde mop!

I'm sure if it was Ken Livingstone the BBC would have run it as their main story

For a whole week. And called him Supernewt.

and would clearly have identified who it was

How much more obscure could a photo of the humble Boris be?

and the heroics involved in the headline.

Yeah. Johnson Saves Woman… Sounds like cowardice on a bike. Goebbels would have been proud.

Hey, Dictionary: Go Ahead, Make My Day.

Biased BBC fights many brave battles to quell the horror that is the British Broadcasting Corporation. Its leader, David Vance, is usually on the front line.

Few skirmishes make supporters as proud as his never-ending war against the English dictionary. Today, he's sniping at the BBC's coverage of arrests in Israel.

it's interesting to note how the BBC itself uses the term "incarceration" to describe how Israel deals with suspected terrorists.

Have they no shame?

No bias?

I have a feeling you're thinking that there is bias, David.

Sorry, when it's little Israel, the BBC is very careful to use the right language to ensure Israel always looks in the wrong.

Damn right, boss. Oh, hang on - look at this, just in from the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language:

incarcerate tr.v. :

1. To put into jail

Which sounds remarkably like the known facts...

It's only a few weeks since David led a lexicographical assault on the political dictionary….

According to the State Broadcaster "Mr Karzai is selling out Afghan women for the sake of conservative Shia support at next week's presidential election." Let us be clear there is nothing that is any way "conservative" about the dark ages pathology of Shia Islam

Dunno: Random House Dictionary says it means "disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change."

Still, David's campaign against the use of incarceration comes from a higher moral plane. As Mailman tells Biased BBC readers:

al beeb is a partial organisation and has taken the side of terrorists in regards to Israel, the West and Christianity.

'Course they do. What self-respecting British broadcaster wouldn't do down their own civilisation in favour of terrorism?

Dictionaries? We Piss On Dictionaries.

Many things get in the way of the glittering crusade that is Biased BBC. The BBC, obviously. Even top-drawer generals, sometimes. But the strangest obstacle of all is... the English language, which frequently frustrates the heroic David Vance and his chums:

I was reading this BBC report on the law that has been just passed in Afghanistan that will allow a man to starve his wife to death if she does not agree to have sex with him.

Edgy stuff, David. I thought we hated the feminazis at the BBC banging on about women's rights ?

According to the State Broadcaster "Mr Karzai is selling out Afghan women for the sake of conservative Shia support at next week's presidential election."

Good news! Al-Beeb sticking it to the Islamics! Who'd have thought?

Let us be clear

Uh-oh...

there is nothing that is any way "conservative" about the dark ages pathology of Shia Islam

Dunno: Random House Dictionary says it means "disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change."

there is nothing that is any way "conservative" about the dark ages pathology...

Okey-dokey. Dictionaries: What would they know?

whilst the BBC never miss the chance to couple the word "conservative" to any depraved cause, we should not let it pass unchallenged.

Just looked up the meaning of paranoid. But they seem to have got that wrong, too.

Hello... it's sue. And she's spitting about a BBC headline: Police hit out at fireworks mob. A top copper is criticising a mob in Luton who used violence.

So why the misleading contradictory headline?

Why indeed? (Though just remind us which bit is actually misleading...or contradictory?)

the BBC headline emphasises the retaliation

Retaliation? Did the cops fire back with roman candles? Apparently not.

and presents it as the provocation

Doubtless the Beeb's motives were suspect...but the story is clear that it was the mob doing the violence...

but the BBC has managed to turn the whole incident inside out. The police are the villains!

Good God. So when the footy headlines say Rafa Hits Out At Fergie...the Liverpool manager literally battered Sir Alex....

Ah, David Vance has been on the crime beat, too.

I don't know about you but I have to say that I read the item title "Cameras capture Lorry Death Pair" with some disgust.

Appalling that the little girl died. Agreed.

Walker is suspected of sexually assaulting this child before strangling her. He later hanged himself. My point is that there is a chilling insensitivity in this heading - they were not a pair

Pair. As in "two individuals who are similar or in some way associated."

whilst it is not biased per se it does show stupendous crassness.

Quite. Just how hard is it to find real bad stuff about the BBC? And what depths heights do we need to sink rise to?