Running On Emoty

David Milliband is getting it in the neck today, for being Jewish, but not the right kind of Jewish. Helpfully, B-BBC soothsayer Cassandra King shows hidden talents by getting inside Milliband's every thought.

Who knows: Perhaps Cassandra has ambitions as a psychological profiler... Biased BBC's Cracker. With an "s" on the end…

(Milliband) is in effect a modern construct,

Like The Gherkin. Only not so tall.

a champagne socialist upbringing

Hello? Childline? Man here feeding champagne to his kids….

with wealth and power around him from the start,

Yes, champagne. Think they're playing Monopoly, too.

he uses the emoty slogans of socialism

And listening to emo music. That's child abuse, right there.

as we would use toilet paper.

Now they're wiping their arses with the Labour Manifesto. How quickly can you get here?

Next time you see Milliband watch him closely,

No need. The NSPCC are on the case.

you see a not quite whole person, you will note the chip

Damn, forgotten the P.I.N.. Again.

and the emptyness of his mind,

You too? Tried disguising it as a phone number. But can't remember that, either.

hate him by all means as I do but also pity him too,

He'll appreciate that.

he is nothing he contains nothing, he is the essence of emptyness

You're confusing him with Simon Cowell.

and when peole like him find out that they are indeed empty inside nothing we could do or say could equal the punishment that brings

Plus listening to bad versions of Hallelujah. That's hell on earth.

Teddy Bear's Nitpick

It's not just the security guards at TV Centre who have been having problems with Nick Griffin's invitation onto Question Time. Biased BBC finds itself in a bind, too.

How does the BNP appearance fit with the B-BBC worldview that al-Beeb is controlled by gay Muslim Commies?

Here's their best stab at it, from Teddy Bear, who also runs the Biased-BBC Forum, a strange parallel world of bias-hunting, which is as dull and pedantic as Biased BBC is angry and paranoid dignified and coolly analytical:

I have been wondering recently why the BBC invited the BNP leader, Nick Griffin, to appear on Question Time this evening.

Can't be that he's now an MEP. That would be too obvious.

They had no obligation to do so, an despite appeals from concerned people and politicians to reconsider, they have decided to push ahead.

How dare the BBC defy Peter Hain, Alan Johnson and, ahem, Ken Livingstone? (Are you sure, Teddy? Biased BBC usually hates them.)

It occurs to me that besides the fact that the BBC have certainly boosted publicity for themselves, since most of the news media and bloggers are following the story, but I believe they have another motive.

BBC Worldwide franchise on Nick Griffin action figures?

They continually refer to the BNP as 'Right Wing' even though that itself is a bone of contention, and was questioned recently by Daniel Hannan at the Telegraph.

Oh, yes, Hannan: The man who says the NHS was a terrible mistake.

With this in mind, I see that the BBC accomplish 2 further 'goals' - one, that they can flout themselves as 'impartial and unbiased'...

If they behave in an impartial and unbiased way, we get to accuse them of flouting it. Outstanding! (BTW: Don't you mean flaunt?)

…and two, that by putting the focus of this extreme racist group as 'right wing', they emphasize how 'normal and justified' is their recognized institutional left wing viewpoint.

Next week they'll have David Icke on to just to show us how their Space-Lizard theories are less rubbish than his.

I would bet that in the weeks to come following the QT debate, you will hear the mealy mouthed, holier than thou justification rolling out from the BBC.

Or possibly they'll just run some more Question Times with fewer racists on them.

In my mind, it makes them more sordid and sullied than they already are.

Let's recap: Biased BBC (and Biased-BBC Forum) assert, loud and long, that the Beeb is in bed with New Labour, sucks up to Muslims and fails to give enough airtime to growing parties of the right like Ukip and the BNP. Then the BBC pisses off many Muslims, defies Labour icons like Hain and Red Ken and gives Griffin his biggest broadcast stage yet.

And that makes the BBC more sordid and sullied than they already are...

Paxman: Emotional Retard

Biased BBC is very upset that the BBC ran an interview today with an army deserter. What lies behind such foolishness? Turns out that BBC folk are "emotionally retarded.... simply stuck in an emotional time warp'."

Anonymous ran with the ball: Most of us grow out of our teenage rebellion but the time warpers you refer to stay there in a comfort zone.

Exactly.

It explains Ugly Rumour Blairs obsession with money & celebrity and (remember) Cool Britannia (ugh)...

I think Ugg boots came later. Anyway, bang-on re Blair!

...and the BBC's hatred of Jews

Which is why, as London Goy pointed out yesterday, so many Jews have prospered at the BBC. Anyway, good shit stick to beat them with!

...the BBC's hatred of Jews and American (Left wing hate objects - symbols of grown up success, authority)....

American what? Airlines, Pie, Express? Anyway, another good shit stick!

.... and the BBCs childish attempts at being "scandalous" and "edgy" (Jonathan Ross using wery wude words)...

Which audiences do not, in any way, enjoy. At all.

.... and their almost demented need to be perpetual children (Glastobury)....

Not sure you're going to appeal to many people under 50 with the Glasto argument, but we can all get behind it and see if it flies!

...and be insolent to respected adults (Paxman etc).

Don't we complain when people like Paxman fail to rough up people we dislike, like Labour and The Greens yesterday? Better sort out the line on that one....

There's an interesting article in today's Express...

Good call. Probably Britain's most authoritative newspaper, especially after its grovelling apologies to the McCann family and the Dunblane survivors, and - oh yes, its owner's humiliating loss in the libel courts this week. (Perhaps we should bury the source after all?)

... in today's Express...on the Labour inbetweeners (who never grew up) The Milliboys, Purnell (famously moved from him trashed flat to high office) etc etc.....

Yes, an anti-Labour, harshly judgemental newspaper run by a bullying proprietor who made his money from the kind of porn his newspaper and its readers would despise. I think our target audience would buy that...

Comrades in Arms, Babes in Arms more like......

Careful! Don't want to upset the PC Brigade!

FAQ FAQ FAQ

Martin, a little time ago, tried to define for Biased BBC readers the lifestyle of the typical liberal or, er, Beeboid. His was, as ever, an illuminating guide to another world. As a joint venture, we offer the following in-depth explanation:

Are our Beeboid/liberal lives sad?

Only when we read Atlas Shrugged's interminably dull postings. We just want to scream: "Make it interesting, for God's sake." But we don't. We cry.

Do we attend "cottaging" Islington dinner parties?

They serve something more interesting than cottage pie usually, so no.

Do we like to sit there boasting we've started a campaign to release some lifer scum or how we've just written a screenplay for the BBC on the imorality of life prison sentances.

Well we usually spell better than that, but, yes, lifer scum are what we love most. We have no fear of crime, you see, and we are determined to undermine justice just because we can.

Do we munch delecious lettuce and drink our tap water?

No, we don't find lettuce that delecious, sadly. Tap water, on the other hand, makes us happy because Panorama has taught us to hate bottled water.

Is our ideal evening out spent on Hampstead Heath getting some "bottom" action and doing a bit of crack

If the alternative is reading more of Atlas Shrugged's posts, then yes. Otherwise no.