CBeebies: Still Fighting WW2 (For The Japanese)

It cannot be said often enough: Biased BBC is not just a peerless advocate of quality journalism, it's also a hothouse of emerging writing talent. Take English Pensioner, a man who can find new things to complain about, even in programmes meant for toddlers.

I don't know about bias, but the BBC gets my prize for crass stupidity.

They'll treasure it.

I was sitting with my grandson watching a video of the children's programme "Waybuloo" which I had recorded a few adys earlier.

I know the feeling. You sit down to watch Mad Men and the brats have recorded Skins instead. Damn you, Sky Box.

To my surprise, one scene showed a large banner, exactly like the flag used by the Japanese Military during WW2.

And exactly like a childish drawing of the sun. As it happens.

I was taken by surprise,

Exactly how eventful is your life?

but surely it would have really upset an ex-POW if he had seen it.

The effect might just have been softened by the cute lilac bunny rabbit doing her exercises amid the emerald countryside and pretty flowers.

I just imagine the outcry if a swastike design (which dates back to ancient Greece) had been used!

Indeed. But it wasn't.

Details on my web site at http://english-pensioner.blogspot.com/

Let's go see. Thursday, 18 February: I am a firm believer in assassination

If I were the lilac bunny, I'd be looking a little bit nervous.

Wheelchairs Of Hate

Biased BBC works tirelessly to alert a sleeping world to the dangers of enjoying The BBC, and we are all grateful for that service.

But its star writer David Vance makes sure that no stone remains unturned in his all-round quest for justice. Today he demands to know why disabled people have it so damned easy:

Interested to read that hundreds of thousands of prime parking spaces in shopping centres are unused because of a legal obligation to provide four times as many disabled bays than are actually needed.

Shocking. Cripples crowding us out of pole position in the Tesco parking lot.

Supermarkets, shopping centres and leisure centres must allocate up to 6 per cent of their parking bays for disabled badge holders

Up to six per cent? That means it's often less….

even though just 1.4 per cent of the population is registered disabled.

Though they might just have a disproportionate need to use cars for shopping.

This means the priority spaces - which must be near to an entrance to shops - are rarely full, while millions of mothers and fathers with young children must fight for a meagre number of designated ' parent and child' spaces.

A terrifying sight, shopping in the UK: Millions of families scrapping over the privilege of wheeling a trolley 20 yards less.

Who has made the legal decision that "up to" 6% of parking bays should be allocated to the disabled?

Probably Gordon Brown. He's apparently an emotional cripple.

In some supermarkets I notice that able-bodied parking is often well away from the stores. Is this fair?

Not at all. And you know what? The able-bodied are probably white, Christian heterosexuals, too. Broken Britain, I call it. Perhaps Pete Moore has an explanation.

It's planning law, no doubt drafted after lobbyists tapped up civil servants.

Wheelchair users: Up there with bankers, arms manufacturers and pharmaceutical multinationals in the no-expense-spared ear-bending stakes.

Ross speaks for many of us.

I don't mind disabled parking, there may be a bit too much but I can't say I've noticed it that much. What I do object to is the "Parent & Child" bays. Why do they get special treatment?

Yeah. Why should a woman with a pregnancy bump, a weepy toddler and a buggy need any kind of special treatment? Whingers.

I think they should put the disabled parking a mile away from the shop, that way no one will be tempted to use them improperly.

Outstanding. And there is a slight danger that you might not be joking. What do you think, Colm?

Just wait until the authorities launch 'LGBT' parking spaces only :)

Love the smiley. But there was no need - you had me at the first apostrophe. Let's give the last word to The Phantom, who has all this rights nonsense summed up beautifully.

And the " mothers and kids " stuff is beyond bullshit. There are obviously way too many dreaming up disabilities and rights and new privileges to be had by people who don't need them and who don't necessarily want them.

Rights. Wasted on almost everybody.

Ray Gosling. The BBC. It All Fits.

It's no coincidence that some of the great turning points in the history of ideas brought with them fear and loathing from those with a vested interest in the old order. Galileo suffered; Darwin was abused.

Sadly, there are those not entirely willing to take at face value David Vance's assertion that The BBC is a Death Cult. Now, one of his fellow philosophers at Biased BBC, the mysterious Laban, has come up with the compelling proof: It's a socialist plot to finish off the elderly and save the discredited Welfare State. Sort of Logan's Run with an NHS Number rather than a glowing crystal.

The cost of medical care is enormous, at 18% of the UK budget. Pensions and 'social care' account for around another 20%. The NHS bill is about to take off over the next two decades, as the boomers born between 1945 and 1965 move into retirement. Pressure to contain this budget will be enormous.

Lorks. What can this mean?

As the BBC's pro-euthanasia campaign grinds on I can't but think that some BBC editors and producers need to recall what they were taught or picked up from all those Politics and Sociology courses.

That Tories are evil toffs in big houses?

We are moving into a period where governments, of any complexion, will be desperate to control rising health costs

Tax the toffs till the pips squeak. That'll do it.

- and when, for the first time, the State broadcaster is running a continual stream of pro-euthanasia propaganda. To paraphrase Marx : "Follow the money".

They wouldn't dare while Sir Terry Wogan's still on the radio. But then what?

Look, here's the excitable philipramage. He has a theory of his own:

I'm sorry but all the "statistics" pointing to an unaffordable, ageing population are absolute rubbish.

That's a relief. I was about to invite Ray Gosling around for tea at my nana's.

Rubbish, I might add, that is playing right into the left's hands.

Might have known it. Effing statistics. Again.

This "ageing population" myth is their excuse for packing the country with immigrants. Just take a look around you.WE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT ARE BLOODY WELL WORKING.

OH BLOODY HELL. IT'S CAPITALS: IT MUST BE SERIOUS.

LOOK at the armies of immigrants on welfare, some living in multi million pound mansions. LOOK at the terror suspects amassing fortunes in the hundreds of thousands of pounds at our expense. LOOK at the whole estates full of single mothers kept at our expense.

They'll laugh on the other sides of their mansion-living terror-organising single-parenting faces when I turn up at the Post Office with my pension book. Oh yes.

Here's another doubting Thomas. Or rather, a doubting Ed (ex RSA).

I don't think the BBC's pro-euthanasia campaign is motivated by a desire to cut care costs.

Are you sure? Laban's post has a graph.

Rather, the left wing, either consciously or through simple reflex or a combination of the two, has set out to systematically attack, undermine and eventually destroy every principle underpinning western civilisation. Euthanasia has become the latest "taboo" to be taken on by these people.

That's what they want you to think. Ask Laban.

They All Look Alike, You Know

Like any great leap forward in human consciousness, Biased BBC opens windows into the truth which even the most dedicated might fail to see without proper guidance.

Take the video below: At first glance, a stirring evocation of the pride and passion which fires the Six Nations Rugby Championship, starring a Hollywood A-list actor and a velvety piece of Victorian poetry. At second glance, too.

And, frankly, at third and fourth….

What's not to like, you might ask. But you are not Biased BBC's David Vance:

another shameless plug from the BBC for Nelson Mandela worshippers.

Only if you think Morgan Freeman is actually Nelson Mandela.

It would be nice to see less politics injected into Sport.

And even fewer black icons allowed on screen… Isn't that so, Atheist Ranter?

There is always the possibility that the BBC are hoping to get NM to bend over during some of the floodlit games so that the sun shining out of his arse can save them a bob or two...

Always with the bottoms on Biased BBC. Anything more perceptive?

Some of us know what he did in his early years....

Indeed. A worthless individual with a dodgy past. And only Biased BBC has the oval balls to say it. Meanwhile, Millie Tant's looking pensive.

I don't know what connection either Morgan Freeman or Nelson Mandela have with the Six Nations rugby tournament.

Thank God. I thought I was alone out here.

Is there one

Lord knows. Almost as much a mystery as why everyone suddenly seems so interested in planets full of blue people. While I'm on, who - or what - is Harry Potter?

or is this just the BBC deliberately bringing in an African black "hero",

Deliberately. And offensively. And in clear breach of the Separate Development Laws, bokkie.

a black face and a black voice because of its misguided and pervasive obsession with skin colour

Obsession. Yes.

and its prejudice against native events

Nailed it there. The BBC's prejudice against rugby is so great that it hauled in Hollywood royalty to help sell the Six Nations as the sporting event of the season.

and (prejudice against) people because of their skin colour?

We all know rugby is exclusively a white man's game. It's just that the BBC won't acknowledge it.

Swing, erm, Low, Sweet Chariot.

British Bukake Corporation

It is, of course, the eternal tragedy of The BBC that its evil influence will soon bring about its very destruction. Exactly how is not yet clear, though Biased BBC posters usually favour a terrible night of gay-slaughter from the tallest transmission tower once the homosexual dhimmis at White City have brought about their much-desired Taliban dictatorship.

A less colourful stream of thought among the bias-hunters is the theory that The BBC's political bias will end in blood-soaked Tory revenge the day David Cameron walks into No. 10. Biased BBC new boy Paul Weston follows this argument through to a shocking, though, um, seminal, conclusion.

I wonder if these BBC traitors ever ponder their future under a less sympathetic government,

Of course not.They'd be mad to do so.

which is of course an inevitability

Not if The BBC can help it. They're already beaming Vote Gordon messages at us covertly.

as democracy naturally crumbles under the social fractures so assidiously promoted by said coterie of BBC execs clad in Armani jackets and suspect genes?

Say that last bit again…

execs clad in Armani jackets and suspect genes

Are we talking bukake here? Otherwise how did the Armani jackets get clad in suspect genes?

Shocking, but it does bring a whole new meaning to the words White City…

Nelson Mandela: Boot Shagger

As Biased BBC matures into a true giant of media analysis, it shows encouraging signs of developing a sophisticated touch with great matters of recent history: Like working out the best way to honour the 20th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's walk to freedom, for instance. David Vance, as ever, prefers to look back in anger:

I am sure you will have encountered the Mandela worship on the BBC today.

Twenty years since Africa's richest nation headed towards democracy. Important moment.

the excitement at the BBC has been palpable.

I'm sure that's really because the Traditional Unionist Voice's own Mandela will be on Question Time tonight.

However I believe the coverage has been very one dimensional and has stayed away from asking any of the tough questions lest the halo around Saint Nelson be dented.

Like why did millions of black people emerge from decades of subjugation, state assassinations and near-slavery… and not turn on their former rulers?

Can you imagine what the coverage of his death will be like? We're all ANC now. (And to hell with the victims of their terrorism)

Ah yes… the Victims Of Terrorism. Always handy when you want to find a reason to sneer at successful democratic negotiation. Never mind: Let's look at Mandela the man. What's your appraisal, Grant?

Supporter of terrorism and wife-beater .

Excellent. Here's apprentice social commentator Asuka Langley Soru:

He seems to have a problem with women. Sometimes you just have to smack a bitch. Sean Connery knows.

Think you captured Mandela's legendary dignity beautifully there. What does your role model, Martin, make of the 20th anniversary?

I want to know how Nelson could shag an ugly old boot like Winnie.

Perfect. Did you have more to say, Grant?

And indeed have 2 children with her.

Indeed. He must have, erm, shagged her at least twice, then.

But, all his life Mandela has sheltered behind killers, getting them to do his dirty work, with him always putting on the smiling face.

Must be what the Nobel jury had in mind. Any other inspirational leaders you'd like to pay tribute to?

Reminds me of Gandhi , who also learned his dirty trade in S. Africa.

First class. Shame you didn't get a dig in at Martin Luther King, too.

BBC News: Mein Kampf With Moving Pictures

It is universally accepted that few organisations are more anti-semitic than The BBC, a news service which practically stiff-arms a salute every time it thinks of Oswald Mosley.

Luckily, Biased BBC is on hand to keep tabs on the most egregious examples. Hats off to David Lee, who has discovered Swastikas where the rest of us might never spot them, in a report about rising attacks on British Jews.

Firstly they start off by putting the rise in quotation marks: UK anti-Semitic attacks 'rise'

Reported speech is such a tricky business.

Or to put in in simple English: "Those Jews can't be believed"

We're lucky they didn't call them Jewboys. Or worse.

And then they go further to drive home the message if the reader didn't already get it.

What could be worse than reported speech?

Their main photo is "something" purported to be bacon on some door handles.

The BBC actually says: "Bacon placed on the door handles of a Leeds synagogue."

"Thoese stupid Jews. Fussing about a little bit of dirt on a door handle. Can't they get a joke?"

Despicable. If only they had actually said it. Or even implied it. Which they didn't.

They cleverly leave the photo of "slay the Jew" grafitti towards the end,

Obviously anti-semitic. A Goebbels-worthy master-stroke and no mistake.

by which point the reader has already got their not sublime message.

That people are going around offending Jews and threatening to slay them?

"Some police forces calculate local trends for religiously motivated incidents, but there are no national figures for hate crimes against any specific group, such as Jews or Muslims."

Might be interesting to know, perhaps?

Hmm, was anybody speaking about Muslims?

Not as such. Though the Jewish Community Security Trust points out that the biggest increase in attacks was during the Gaza conflict.

Well, says the BBC reporter, we can't have those decent Muslims dressed up again as the bad guys, let's paint them as victims too. And then their final paragraph, the icing on the cake: "Last month, researchers at Exeter University called on Muslims to start counting their own figures in a similar fashion to the CST, saying there was evidence of an under-reporting of anti-Muslim hatred"

Not sure Oswald Mosley would be happy with that one. He might even dislike the implied tribute to the Jewish community's effectiveness in keeping tabs on prejudice so effectively.

The BBC, brilliantly and underhandedly anti semtic as ever, manage to turn a news item about how Jews suffering more at the hands of Muslims into an article about how much the "poor Muslims" are suffering and "look, nobody cares about them".

Outstanding. No evidence The BBC intended any such meaning. Or conveyed it. But it's a corker by Biased BBC standards.

But indeed, the BBC are not biased and not anti Semtic. Of couse not!

Par for the couse. You're not being paranoid, either. Of couse.

I've just re-read the two pieces and am shocked at the two demeaning examples of incidents which the BBC have chosen.

My God! There's more: Nuremberg was nothing on this.

One about a girl who was "surrounded by other pupils who chanted "death to Jews"" in the words of the BBC and the other about the "strips of bacon being placed on the door handles of a Leeds synagogue".

Distressing. But where's The BBC anti-semitism?

The (Evening Standard) tells a different story about the girl. "A 12-year-old girl, the only Jew at her school, was attacked by a mob of up to 20 fellow pupils who pulled her hair and chanted: “death to Jews, kill all Jews.”

The same story, just simplified... not a different one. On the other hand, the Standard illustrated its story with a picture of destruction in Gaza; The BBC with specific images of anti-semitism.

And surprise suprise, they also tell a different story about the bacom strips. They say "

In Yorkshire, strips of bacon were arranged in the shape of a star of David and stuck the fence of a home where a Jewish family lived with the word “Jewboy” written underneath."

The CST report covers both incidents. Not sure that an offensive gesture against one family is a greater or lesser evil than one against a whole religious congregation.

But not only do they play down the incidents, they completly ignore the more serious reports of the disabled person in a wheelchair who was rammed by a car with the driver yelling "Jew, Jew".

On the other hand, they linked to the detail of a disturbing story of a Jewish man attacked outside his own home.

Nor for that matter did they choose to report any of the other 124 violent assults or the 600 incidents of abusive behaviour.

Perhaps because news would grind to a halt if it reported absolutely every incident covered in each single publication.

The message of the BBC report: "Those troublesome Jews. Making a fuss about nothing"

Good, but do you mind if we refine it?

Biased BBC: Making a fuss about nothing.