They All Look Alike, You Know

Like any great leap forward in human consciousness, Biased BBC opens windows into the truth which even the most dedicated might fail to see without proper guidance.

Take the video below: At first glance, a stirring evocation of the pride and passion which fires the Six Nations Rugby Championship, starring a Hollywood A-list actor and a velvety piece of Victorian poetry. At second glance, too.

And, frankly, at third and fourth….

What's not to like, you might ask. But you are not Biased BBC's David Vance:

another shameless plug from the BBC for Nelson Mandela worshippers.

Only if you think Morgan Freeman is actually Nelson Mandela.

It would be nice to see less politics injected into Sport.

And even fewer black icons allowed on screen… Isn't that so, Atheist Ranter?

There is always the possibility that the BBC are hoping to get NM to bend over during some of the floodlit games so that the sun shining out of his arse can save them a bob or two...

Always with the bottoms on Biased BBC. Anything more perceptive?

Some of us know what he did in his early years....

Indeed. A worthless individual with a dodgy past. And only Biased BBC has the oval balls to say it. Meanwhile, Millie Tant's looking pensive.

I don't know what connection either Morgan Freeman or Nelson Mandela have with the Six Nations rugby tournament.

Thank God. I thought I was alone out here.

Is there one

Lord knows. Almost as much a mystery as why everyone suddenly seems so interested in planets full of blue people. While I'm on, who - or what - is Harry Potter?

or is this just the BBC deliberately bringing in an African black "hero",

Deliberately. And offensively. And in clear breach of the Separate Development Laws, bokkie.

a black face and a black voice because of its misguided and pervasive obsession with skin colour

Obsession. Yes.

and its prejudice against native events

Nailed it there. The BBC's prejudice against rugby is so great that it hauled in Hollywood royalty to help sell the Six Nations as the sporting event of the season.

and (prejudice against) people because of their skin colour?

We all know rugby is exclusively a white man's game. It's just that the BBC won't acknowledge it.

Swing, erm, Low, Sweet Chariot.

Nelson Mandela: Boot Shagger

As Biased BBC matures into a true giant of media analysis, it shows encouraging signs of developing a sophisticated touch with great matters of recent history: Like working out the best way to honour the 20th anniversary of Nelson Mandela's walk to freedom, for instance. David Vance, as ever, prefers to look back in anger:

I am sure you will have encountered the Mandela worship on the BBC today.

Twenty years since Africa's richest nation headed towards democracy. Important moment.

the excitement at the BBC has been palpable.

I'm sure that's really because the Traditional Unionist Voice's own Mandela will be on Question Time tonight.

However I believe the coverage has been very one dimensional and has stayed away from asking any of the tough questions lest the halo around Saint Nelson be dented.

Like why did millions of black people emerge from decades of subjugation, state assassinations and near-slavery… and not turn on their former rulers?

Can you imagine what the coverage of his death will be like? We're all ANC now. (And to hell with the victims of their terrorism)

Ah yes… the Victims Of Terrorism. Always handy when you want to find a reason to sneer at successful democratic negotiation. Never mind: Let's look at Mandela the man. What's your appraisal, Grant?

Supporter of terrorism and wife-beater .

Excellent. Here's apprentice social commentator Asuka Langley Soru:

He seems to have a problem with women. Sometimes you just have to smack a bitch. Sean Connery knows.

Think you captured Mandela's legendary dignity beautifully there. What does your role model, Martin, make of the 20th anniversary?

I want to know how Nelson could shag an ugly old boot like Winnie.

Perfect. Did you have more to say, Grant?

And indeed have 2 children with her.

Indeed. He must have, erm, shagged her at least twice, then.

But, all his life Mandela has sheltered behind killers, getting them to do his dirty work, with him always putting on the smiling face.

Must be what the Nobel jury had in mind. Any other inspirational leaders you'd like to pay tribute to?

Reminds me of Gandhi , who also learned his dirty trade in S. Africa.

First class. Shame you didn't get a dig in at Martin Luther King, too.

Oral History: Obama Radio Fellatio

It's inconceivable that anyone could ever take a positive view of Barack Obama, so Radio 4's announcement of a programme about people who named their babies after the new President has been met with justifiable incredulity at Biased BBC.

Here's Asuka Langley Soryu:

It takes a special kind of ignorant asshole to name their child after a politican.

Politican: A weird hybrid of pelican and politician. That would never do. Stick with Jordan. Or Chardonnay.

Especially one who's achieved so little and seems to be going for some sort of unpopularity record. I haven't met one of these assclowns because I don't live in some Third World shithole (yet)...

You'd be very popular.

…or Lefty enclave, but I'd dearly like to meet one of these people...and punch them in the throat. Damn.

A strong reaction, seeing as how the show hasn't aired yet. What do you think, BenS?

This programme is pure desperation... I can only imagine it being unbelievably rubbish.

Always better to imagine than to listen, BenS. Lot less effort, too.

Why, here's magiclantern1, who claims to have worked at al Beeb. Still nostalgic about BBC West Midlands, magic-l?

In my house we have dubbed BBC radio as Obama Radio Fellatio.

Blow me. Any sexual references you want to titillate us with, Martin?

The BBC paint over St Barry's ever falling popularity and the fact the Dems are going ot get creamed up the upcoming elections. But hey let's not let facts get in the way of a beeboid wank fest.

Excellent. And thanks for the tissue. Over to a British expat in the USA. Welcome, Martin Hague.

Obama is a bad joke. He is litterally making it up as he goes along, and he has an infantile understanding of the real world.

A mistake Biased BBC is never likely to make. Litterally.

Nelson Mandela: Don'tcha Just Hate Him?

The great David Vance is sadly spending less and less time hunting bias at the BBC, which is surely a bad thing for democracy and freedom of speech.

But the good news is that he's beavering away on A Tangled Web, telling truth to, um, power. Today he's pulling the wool from our eyes over that old despot Nelson Mandela.

I note that the vast left wing global hypocrisy,

The BBC?

the United Nations General Assembly,

Oh, them. Amateurs by comparison...

has declared 18 July Mandela Day, to mark the contribution of Nelson Mandela to world freedom.

What's not to like?

So, will YOU be celebrating this joyous occasion and if so, how?

Dig out The Specials' greatest hits. Get emotional. That kind of thing?

Maybe join a terrorist group and kill some innocent shoppers in the name of freedom,

Bad idea in a recession, but I get your drift.

hang a few tyres around the necks of your enemies and set them ablaze,

Perhaps we should instead be celebrating the glorious achievements of the apartheid state?

perhaps find a few communist tyrants to laud,

State-sponsored assassination squads?

maybe find a genocidal neighbour but do nothing to condemn them?

A police state aimed at keeping one-fifth of the population in power over the disenfranchised majority?

I accept that as he got older he became more agreeable

Kind of you. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

but the truth is that Mandela does not merit the accolades heaped upon him by the liberal left.

Perhaps you could suggest an alternative beneficiary?

At best, in the latter part of his life, he did no evil. Is that now reason for sanctification?

Not at all. What's Rush Limbaugh doing next July? Or Sarah Palin?

Or you, David Vance?

Rainbow Worrier

When misfortune strikes people who are not cut from the same genetic blueprint as ourselves, only the BBC would be wet enough to show sympathy.

The correct emotion is unashamed gloating, and if the BBC fails to join in, then it is proof of its overwhelming bias.

David Vance, who is proud to boast that he is no liberal, knows what to think about the controversy surrounding the 18-year-old South African runner Caster Semenya, who is the subject of gender tests which her team manager describes as humiliating.

On his Irish blog, Mr Vance is a master of tact:

Mind you, it's not just South Africa that has such issues. The UK has a eunuch as Prime Minister.

Ho, ho, ho. Is it true that you dislike South Africa being celebrated as the Rainbow Nation?

Now we know exactly what we find at the end of the rainbow and it is most certainly a crock.

Ms Semenya will find that hilarious, being a teenager whose most intimate medical secrets have been leaked into the public eye. Not that you're ever sensitive yourself, David...

I got a bit of flak here from some of the usual suspects when I dared to cast doubt on the sexual identity of Rainbow Nation athletic luminary Caster Semenya.

The shame of it. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. Especially the heading on your Biased BBC piece:

Half A Boy And Half A Girl.

(Nick Lowe will be very proud.) But what did the BBC actually do wrong?

The BBC was keen to echo suggestions that it is ... gasp. .. almost racist to suggest that "she" might be a "he".

That so? Funny... a search of the BBC news pages shows that they simply quoted other people saying so, and gave it no emphasis. And the radio report you previously linked to does not make that suggestion at all. You didn't, um, make that up, did you?

Comes the news that Sex tests carried out on Caster the world 800 metres champion, show that she is a hermaphrodite, a source close to the case claimed tonight.

On a scale of 1 to 10, just how delighted are you about that?

If the allegation is backed up by the results, the South African may well find herself stripped of her gold medal and banned from racing.

Bit rough all round. Don't you think?

Is it cos she is black?

Hilarious, David. A teenage girl's intimate medical records are leaked to the world. And you deliver a series of slimy jokes. Oh, and distort the BBC's coverage.

Is that because she's black?