Quality Journalism 2010: Death By Gay Jollies

If there's one thing Biased BBC teaches us, it's that The BBC fails, day after dumbed-down day, to deliver quality journalism. What has happened to its mission to inform and to educate the licence-paying public?

Today, another major failing has been exposed by Biased BBC vigilance. Why oh why is the Beeb ignoring its duty to explain, er, salacious speculation about the death of a daytime telly presenter?

The gnomic ap-w kicks the debate off. How come the BBC has devoted precious time to mark the passing of Michael Foot?

it's all rather overshadowed the death of the BBC presenter Kristian Digby,

Yeah. Why worry about a leading orator, writer, newspaper editor and former Leader of the Opposition when the presenter of House Swap and Buy It, Sell It, Bank It has died?

Digby, who has died in "unexplained" circumstances

I have a feeling that HM Coroner will be enlightening us before long...

a matter of days after gay killer Ray Gosling is released on police bail.

A non-sequitur of elegant proportions. What do you think, Millie Tant?

There's a good example of where the great broadcaster has failed to inform us - about how this man died.

Glad you spoke up. I've been losing sleep worrying about this.

So the BBC knows this information but has chosen to censor it.

Bastards. They've been ignoring Paris Hilton's sex tapes, Lindsay Lohan's eating issues and Kerry Katona's love life, too. What's wrong with them?

Why do they think it is all right for them to know this and for us not to know it? How can that be right?

Exactly. Lord Reith would be turning in his grave over a failure like this.

Who is in charge of them and what they should be allowed to know? Who privileged them to hold this information that is apparently too dangerous for us to know. If it is so dangerous, toxic or corrosive to us that it must be withheld, what effect does possessing it have on them? I think we should be told.

Not only that: Where is the in-depth analysis of minor actresses' wardrobe malfunctions and Posh Spice's footwear options that we have a right to expect from a top-quality news provider?

And all of the above questions are leaving aside the fact that we know it anyway! Cos we've been told by the Informative Media. It's all over the b..... shop!

Which shop? Does the b…. shop sell things for bees?

And guess what...we survived this knowledge and the world is still turning. But the BBC is still censoring. How daft can you get?

Not as daft as that smiley, for sure. Robert de Niro tribute act Travis Bickle gets to the heart of the story.

By "unexplained" they mean getting his gay jollies off.

But who put them on in the first place?

BBC presenters are snuffing themselves at a fair old rate of knots these days. They need to get some more rewarding past-times rather than auto-asphyxiation and columbian marching powder.

Could be worse. They could be posting on Biased BBC.

Fort Hood: Time For Sombre Reflection

The wretched events at Fort Hood have brought out the richly analytical side of Biased BBC at its most impressive. Much has been written, ranging across the whole of human sympathy & understanding. Like this, from DP111:

As I've posted before, there is just one way to attain peace at home, i.e., separation from Muslims. The only question is how?

The fact that the gunman was an American Muslim has been the cause of a great deal of restrained comment. As you can imagine.

John Anderson says we must not panic:

There is a mosque about 400 yards from where I live. The BBC would have me believe that all the men going there this morning are peaceful. I CANNOT believe that

George R is sanguine about the BBC's preparedness for the coming Muslim Holy War:

does the BBC have an intelligent vetting system to prevent Islamic jihad sympathisers operating BBC programmes and website? Or are the lunatics encouraged to take charge of the asylum?

Of course they are, George. That's why it's called al-Beeb, dammit.

Finally, Robert de Niro tribute act Travis Bickle speaks for all Biased BBCers:

I would have thought being muslim automatically denoted someone as being mentally ill anyway.

Perhaps Network Rail should get the cattle trucks ready?

Turn On, Tune In, Find Bias.

What does Biased BBC think about the ousting of Government drugs advisor David Nutt?

The official line, from David Vance stand-in Robin Horbury, is that the BBC is showing clear bias and is firmly in Nutt's sack. The BBC is rooting for Professor Nutt for purely self-interested reasons:

making hard drugs legal so that the boys and girls at White City can have oodles of their favourite white powder and waccy baccy

Not all diehards are keen on this line, though. There is a surprising interest in synthetic thrills among the bias-hunting folk. Most confessional of all is Robert de Niro tribute act Travis Bickle:

Personally, I like to swallow great big fat handfuls of ecstacy every weekend.

Okaaaay....You are not obliged to say anything...

And I like a few lines of columbian marching powder up the old schnoz every now and then.

But anything you do say may be written down.

And I'm not going to be told not to have a bloody good time of it...

The criminal law. Just for pansies. And those we disagree with.

…and escape the miserable shithole that is Britain by getting off my face…

Supporting the narcotics trade is certainly a good way of making Britain a better place.

- by some fat, sweaty turds in Westminster.

Democracy is overvalued. What we need is a narco-state.

if the BBC are on the same side as me on this, then good for them.

Not quite sure that debating science-based policy is the same thing as supporting wholesale narcotics use...

They are a bunch of scrounging toss-rags that need to be executed immediately, but before they go can they please ensure I can still have a bloody good time every weekend.

Say hello to my leedle friend. (Al Pacino, but near enough.)

I'm No Racist But Where Do I Send The Cash?

Travis Bickle, Biased BBC's answer to Robert de Niro, sees the way forward after Question Time: Give lots of money to a racist party which you claim not to support...

for some reason the BNP are not accepting any new memberships on their website,

Must be all the black and Asian people who Cassandra predicted would join up..

so I couldn't join as a protest to last nights show trial.

I think we all feel that way.

I wonder if that has anything to do with last night.

Only reaction one could have: I must join that man and his lovely party.

Never mind, I just made a substantial donation to them instead.

Remember to mark it KKK Friendship Fund.

Not because I support the BNP,

Exactly.

but because I oppose all who are trying to silence them.

Wait up: He wasn't silenced. He was challenged. Is that the same thing?

My enemy's enemy is my friend and all that.

Which of the BNP's many enemies might you possibly mean? Jews? Gays? Black Britons? Poles? Primary School Biology Teachers?

Update: The ever-reliable Cassandra is signing up with Griffin's Heroes, too.

As soon as the BNP opens up its membership to all British people I am joining AND making a donation. Why am I doing this? The thought of our nation lowered to the level of the gutter with a whole mass media and political establishment using the tricks of the nazis and the brownshirts breaks my heart, from now on everyone should know what side I am on.

Thanks for the steer. We'd never have guessed. By the way, didn't you have an Israeli flag alongside your name on B-BBC until recently? How does the Holocaust-denial bit work for you?

Feminine Protection. With Wingnuts.

Even if The BBC started taking its bulletins straight from Fox News and its opinions from the Israeli Embassy, there would still be unfinished Biased BBC business. Something Must Be Done about Feminazis.

They have their own show - Woman's Hour - on Radio 4, and it's proof of a veritable constellation of bias all over the broadcasting spectrum. Apparently.

B-BBC Iron Man David Vance set the balls rolling:

By the way, why is there not a "Men's Hour"?

Good question. Here's the manly Robert de Niro tribute act Travis Bickle. He's bound to know:

Why would we need a Men's hour?

Because men get such a raw deal everywhere. Surely?

The whole point of woman's hour is that it keeps a bunch of po-faced, middle class, menopausal bints distracted while their husbands 'take the dog for a walk'.

Here, boy! Walkies!

Taking the dog for a walk being a euphimism for 'banging a prozzie.'

Oh. Does Rover get to watch?

Men's hour courtesy of the limp wristed elite that run the BBC would be all about...

Fast cars and big noisy machines? Football? Action movies?

Wimmin's issues! And how us men can fawn, scrape and ingratiate ourselves further too them.

How is Mrs Bickle?

Legendary social commentator Martin has his doubts, too:

As for a mens hour, god could you imagine what it would be like?

Top Gear?

camp left wing nonces talking about how their heels kill them and are leather trousers OK for cycling.

Sounds right up your street, Marty. Perhaps we could get some rent boys to present it, seeing as you're so obsessed with them?

No thanks

Oh, look, there's Jo Brand on Radio Five. Let's see how well the new civilised Biased BBC is working: What do you reckon to Jo, Martin?

a fat ugly wart faced smelly white barking mad old lesbian.

Every insult a freshly-minted one. Time to Walk The Dog.

You Talkin' To Me, Mohammed?

Perhaps the most admirable thing about the Biased BBC faithful is their sheer bloody determination to see another shitty day through, despite the agony of existence in Gor-doom Brown's ZanuLiebour hell-hole.

Just reading their State Of The Nation pronouncements has been known to send well-adjusted Lottery winners off to the Dignitas clinic.

Today we pay tribute to two champions of the Hell-in-a-turbocharged-handcart genre, prophetess Cassandra King and Robert de Niro wannabe Travis Bickle:

Cassandra King writes: White native British Christians now live in apartheid state where we enjoy less freedoms and rights than the foreign islamists who wish to destroy us.

I was just thinking that, standing at the Whites-Only bus stop. How I miss sitting in the nice seats. And living with my family. But Master Abjoul he done be very kind to me.

The enemy walks among us right here in the UK, they feed off our social systems, they sponge off our generosity and take advantage of our laws while they plot and scheme against us.

Never fear. The rest of Biased BBC wants to bomb Bradford...

The islamist enemy is helped and encouraged by the government while they spread their hatred and poison against us,

The Ministry of Caliphate Advancement was a mistake. Even Mandelson accepts that.

we live in a truly perverted and warped time!

Under-selling it a bit, but otherwise excellent, Cassandra. What do you reckon, Travis Bickle?

Cassandra, I agree totally but I don't think muslims have realised how 'infected' they are becoming by the indigenous Brit.

Wow. This is original.

The sheer idleness, indifference, selfishness and gluttony of the British is something that most muslims adopt wholesale, as it is in perfect parallel with their own religion.

See, we can all get along just fine. In our slothful ways.

When the time finally comes for them all to rise up and vanquish the infidel in the name of Allah, so absorbed will they be by the British attitudes, you will see hundreds of thousands of them throwing mass sickeys, or staying in to watch the finals of Big Brother or just generally making excuses about how they'd love to attend the uprising but they've got to get up early in the morning and besides there's never anywhere to park in these uprisings and it would mean them having to go all the way round the M25 to get there.

That's the most reassuring thing I've read all day. You talkin' to me, Mohammed?