Bashing The Bishop

In centuries to come, archaeologists will scour the remains of the web for the earliest beginnings of the language they will revere as Advanced Vance™, the bastard blend of bloggery and blowhard which so distinguishes David Vance's contributions to Biased BBC.

He's in fine form today, bashing the bishop who dared find a foothold for talks with the Taliban.

Poor old Bishop Venner - he has come running to the BBC

Classic Advanced Vance™. Come Running = Gave An Interview.

to say that he is sorry if anyone has taken offence at his suggestion that the Taliban could be admired.

Chief Sky Pilot to Our Boys apologises to the nation. Bit of a scoop for al Beeb, surely?

Using the normal political formulation for something that looks like an apology but actually isn't,

Advanced Vance™: Actually Isn't = Hasn't Grovelled And Then Thrown Himself On Sword Yet.

he digs the hole deeper by adding...

Advanced Vance™: Digs The Hole Deeper = Explains Himself But Not In A Way We Approve Of.

"It was one small phrase in quite a long interview, and a phrase that simply said you cannot describe everybody under one heading as Taliban as being equally black, equally evil. These are human beings and there are some amongst them who could - we don't know - who could perhaps be people with whom at the end of the day we could do business."

On all fours with various world leaders, then, including Obama and Miliband and even a former commander of the 1st Battalion, the Royal Anglian Regiment.

Moral equivocation is very much at the heart of the BBC agenda

Advanced Vance™: Moral Equivocation = Willingness To Negotiate. From the man who thinks the Northern Irish peace process was a terrible mistake.

and so it must be a dream for them that this clerical clown comes out and praises Jihadists for their devotion to Islam.

Which is why they give his apology top billing. Because they love Jihad so much. Naturally.

Hilary Benn, Monster.

Perhaps the greatest evil known to mankind, outgunning even Islam and homosexuality, is climate science. Thankfully, Biased BBC has been leading the revolt against this mumbo-jumbo, and none more valiantly than the permanently outraged Robin Horbury. Today, he's tearing apart an Environment Minister with only sarcasm as a weapon.

Hilary Benn who has spent his entire, useless life

Try not to be so conciliatory.

as a trade union official

Representing people's collective interests is inherently wrong...

and politician

…especially when they vote you into office.

after reading eastern European languages

The clincher. Down there with paedophilia.

at right-on Sussex university

(Possibly a cheap insult too far?)

has risen, by some fluke, to be a government minister with a brief to pontificate about "climate change".

Uh oh.

Not content that he and his government cronies have pledged to blow £1.5bn of our money on "carbon emissions", he is today to warn the the new world government assembled in Copenhagen that we face yet another threat - "ocean acidification".

Let's ask the American experts, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Blimey: "A growing number of studies have demonstrated adverse impacts on marine organisms."

Despite his complete lack of relevant knowledge, (Benn) somehow believes he's qualified to interpret to the world the highly complex science behind the absorption of CO2 by seawater.

Excellent point, Robin, only slightly marred by the reality that few politicians have technical qualifications in the subjects they administer.

Of course, to him and his fanatical brethren, it's another huge threat, another reason to spend billions of our money on vast nonsense schemes.

Perhaps. But he doesn't appear to be demanding vast nonsense schemes. Only more research.

For the BBC and its expert environment correspondent Richard Black, it's a top story that must be breathlessly reported without qualification or challenge.

Odd for an environment correspondent to report on a major speech by the Environment Secretary at a global conference. Very odd.

And without reference to latest scientific papers that suggest that the whole thing is a load of more, poisonous hot air.

Be fair. Biased BBC can't keep all the poisonous hot air to itself.

Something About Dancing Rabbits And Mad People

There are many unpalatable truths in the world of Biased BBC, but the biggest one is that everyone lets you down in the end, even the Conservatives. Much wailing and gnashing, then, when the Tories, far from kicking the PM's climate-saving efforts at Copenhagen, offer more of the same.

As ever, soothsayer Cassandra King has the definitive take:

Its like we are locked into a nightmare reality where right is wrong and lies are the truth and black is white and where so called intelligent people act like cretins and get applauded for it, where gibberish is spoken and people cheer.

Couldn't put it better myself.

Led by a certified mental case into ruination, with a so called opposition just as keen to follow the madness, its like peering into the mind of a demented lunatic,

A Tangled Web, and no mistake.

all it needs are dancing rabbits and talking turtles!

Plus Grizzly Mamas.

I am struggling to comprehend the utter madness of it all, its like witnessing the dance of the insane through the eyes of the mad.

Brave of you to be so harsh about Biased BBC. Kudos, Cassie.

Artificial Floavouring

A happy day for all those who believe Britain is one hijab away from slavery: A British Muslim was convicted of conspiring to murder civilians, and then a couple of Christian hoteliers were cleared of insulting an Islamic convert.

You'll never guess who failed to do justice to this wondrous day: The BBC. No, really.

Thank God Biased BBC is here to put them right. Crusader-in-chief David Vance leads the charge:

OK, so it's not the lead story and indeed one has to click across from the main newspage to even see it.

Yeah. Just boring stories about the Budget. And they call that journalism?

I refer to the item curiously entitled "UK Muslim guilty of planning attack".

Something about kittens, maybe? Or I'm A Celebrity?

Mmmm

Uh oh.

a tad innocuous but curiosity got the better of me

Curiosity about any story with the word Muslim in it, perhaps?

so I went over and discovered that the actual story is that several Muslims have been convicted of planning mass murder over the Atlantic.

The plot ringleaders were actually convicted in September. This week's accused were their gofers. And only one of them was convicted of the main charge of conspiracy to murder. Hence the headline.

So, "Jihad horror averted" might have been more accurate,

That would be old news. The plot was made public in August 2006. It's why we have to stick our toothpaste in see-through bags before we get it X-rayed.

or perhaps "Muslim plot to murder hundreds of British people"......

Or possibly: Jail All Muslims Now, Otherwise They'll Kill Us In Our Sleep.

but I guess "UK Muslim guilty of planning attack" fits the bill for the BBC.

By being accurate and not inflammatory, David. Oh, look: Here's George R, who shares with no-one his devotion to naming and shaming Mohammedans.

the issue is about how the BBC politically shields Islam in its biased use of e.g. the wording of its headlines.

Shielding Islam? Only if you assume that all Islamics are terrorists. Which you do, so fair enough.

Never mind. We can all rejoice that the God-bothering Scouse hoteliers got off their charge of insulting an Islamic guest, can't we, Mr Vance?

Quite obviously this was another pointless prosecution by the CPS but I notice that twice in the BBC item they repeat the CPS claim that there was sufficient evidence to bring the prosecution.

Though they ran more of the judge rubbishing the charge.

If only the Judge had agreed, eh? I am sure the BBC must be gutted.

But you'd be wrong.

Why, it's B-BBC's leading social commentator Martin. You must be very pleased, Marty...

It was a nonsensical prosecution, it was simply one persons word against another's without any other evidence.

Untrue. A born-again Christian guest gave evidence against the hoteliers. But what the heck.

We see Muzzie's spitting hate all the time in London or at soldiers parades and the Police do NOTHING, so why act in this case?

Apart from the 7 Muslim protesters awaiting trial over the anti-Army protest. But what the heck. Again.

Perhaps John Anderson can offer a fresh perspective.

Press reports suggested that the Muslim woman was a bit of a nutter, grossly over-reacting, playing the victim.

Google News has little truck with a search for nutter in the trial reports. Or grossly over-reacting. Fancy that.

But somehow that floavour did not appear in BBC reports.

Good point. We want more floavour from the Beeb. And less objectivity.

So their Muslim supporters in-house, and listeners, can feel that justice has been denied.

What we really need is a news service staffed by Biased BBC contributors. Justice and accuracy personified. Accuracy especially.