Wednesday 3 February 2010

Inappropriate Faggots


The regrettable collapse in BBC standards since the golden era of (oh… whenever), leaves a gap in the market for authoritative debate.


Thankfully, Biased BBC has stepped into that breach and now provides an excellent service for those of us worried about the best way to mull over important topics. Topics like… computers and stuff.


Apprentice social commentator Asuka Langley Soryu starts the etiquette debate rolling:


What is the connection between the BBC and Apple?


Reputation for top quality + millions of devoted fans who adore their style, reliability and ingenuity?


They're both make overpriced, substandard products which're liked only by elitist, semi-literate faggots.


Imaginative linking of semi-literate and elitist there. Who'd have thought you could be both?


Uh-oh, the boss is watching. Hello, David Vance.


Asuka


One born every minute, apparently.


Please mind your language. "Faggots" is not appropriate. Thanks.


Oops! Asuka Langley Soryu, you OK with the potty-mouth crackdown?


Sure thing.


Well that was straightforward. Faggots are off the menu...


But what about the suffix '-fag'?


As in...


i.e. Emofag, Indiefag, Ecofag, &c.


Lifesafag, if you ask me.


Is that inappropriate?


What do you think, deegee? Tofag or nottofag?


Surely none of the above.


Good to meet a man of taste and discernment.


Not everybody who uses Apple products an elitist, semi-literate faggot.


Only some of them, clearly...


Here's the boss again. Good to see you once more, Mr Vance:


Debate here can be passionate, witty, acidic but not vulgar.


Exactly. Which is why we love phrases like Rancid Puss-Filled Cocks.


…passionate, witty, acidic but not vulgar. Please help keep it that way.


Damn cunting right we will.


4 comments:

  1. What on earth has happened to the fragrant Cassandra King, whose prophecies so enlivened Biased BBC and were faithfully covered on your pages? Has Vance done away with her?

    And whatever has happened... did she see it coming?

    ReplyDelete
  2. What was interesting about the Apple discussion was the assumption BBC staff are showered with free ipods and provided with all the iphones they can eat.
    Of course Apple are notoriously stingy (I be even Stephen Fry has to buy his own iPad when it arrives) and the BBC actually bans staff from ordering iPhones for work. Managers get Blackberries and the rest a Nokia brick.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Cassandra was, unfortunately, found wandering semi-naked in the middle of the road, just outside of Shoeburyness, claiming that the BNP were coming down to take her to another planet.

    We sectioned her under the Mental Health Act, and are now awaiting the results of an experimental type of lobotimisation. When the brain swelling goes down, Cassandra will be back with us, although hopefully not quite as fucking stupid as she was.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I done a word cloud featuring the things taken from this tag.

    Shockingly, "bias" isn't one of the most common words.

    What I done at Wordle.

    ReplyDelete