David Milliband is getting it in the neck today, for being Jewish, but not the right kind of Jewish. Helpfully, B-BBC soothsayer Cassandra King shows hidden talents by getting inside Milliband's every thought.
Who knows: Perhaps Cassandra has ambitions as a psychological profiler... Biased BBC's Cracker. With an "s" on the end…
(Milliband) is in effect a modern construct,
Like The Gherkin. Only not so tall.
a champagne socialist upbringing
Hello? Childline? Man here feeding champagne to his kids….
with wealth and power around him from the start,
Yes, champagne. Think they're playing Monopoly, too.
he uses the emoty slogans of socialism
And listening to emo music. That's child abuse, right there.
as we would use toilet paper.
Now they're wiping their arses with the Labour Manifesto. How quickly can you get here?
Next time you see Milliband watch him closely,
No need. The NSPCC are on the case.
you see a not quite whole person, you will note the chip
Damn, forgotten the P.I.N.. Again.
and the emptyness of his mind,
You too? Tried disguising it as a phone number. But can't remember that, either.
hate him by all means as I do but also pity him too,
He'll appreciate that.
he is nothing he contains nothing, he is the essence of emptyness
You're confusing him with Simon Cowell.
and when peole like him find out that they are indeed empty inside nothing we could do or say could equal the punishment that brings
Plus listening to bad versions of Hallelujah. That's hell on earth.
Posts
Thank you so much for that! Just got in from work and was feeling a bit low but I laughed like never before!
ReplyDeleteYou've gotta love Cassie and her 'Fridge Poetry' (or should that be 'Fridge psychologist') posts.
Cheers!
Does she do Haiku's too?
ReplyDeleteNo doubt after some time, we will be told that our beloved Cassandra is like Martin - a plant by cunning beeboids to discredit Biased BBC.
ReplyDelete@Ex-Anonymous: Plant or not, she's doing a bang-up job.
ReplyDeleteOh, I don't know. She's being made to look good. In the Question Time thread, we get this rhetorical gem:
ReplyDeleteTravis Bickle: "Diane Abbott is like a chocolate hobnob because they both come out with shit."
Okaaay then, Travis. You appear to have mistaken your dachshund for a pack of biccies. Any easy mistake to make. I once shot a bunch of commies by accident when I really meant to change a lightbulb.