Thursday, 29 October 2009

Running On Emoty

David Milliband is getting it in the neck today, for being Jewish, but not the right kind of Jewish. Helpfully, B-BBC soothsayer Cassandra King shows hidden talents by getting inside Milliband's every thought.

Who knows: Perhaps Cassandra has ambitions as a psychological profiler... Biased BBC's Cracker. With an "s" on the end…

(Milliband) is in effect a modern construct,

Like The Gherkin. Only not so tall.

a champagne socialist upbringing

Hello? Childline? Man here feeding champagne to his kids….

with wealth and power around him from the start,

Yes, champagne. Think they're playing Monopoly, too.

he uses the emoty slogans of socialism

And listening to emo music. That's child abuse, right there.

as we would use toilet paper.

Now they're wiping their arses with the Labour Manifesto. How quickly can you get here?

Next time you see Milliband watch him closely,

No need. The NSPCC are on the case.

you see a not quite whole person, you will note the chip

Damn, forgotten the P.I.N.. Again.

and the emptyness of his mind,

You too? Tried disguising it as a phone number. But can't remember that, either.

hate him by all means as I do but also pity him too,

He'll appreciate that.

he is nothing he contains nothing, he is the essence of emptyness

You're confusing him with Simon Cowell.

and when peole like him find out that they are indeed empty inside nothing we could do or say could equal the punishment that brings

Plus listening to bad versions of Hallelujah. That's hell on earth.


  1. Thank you so much for that! Just got in from work and was feeling a bit low but I laughed like never before!

    You've gotta love Cassie and her 'Fridge Poetry' (or should that be 'Fridge psychologist') posts.


  2. Does she do Haiku's too?

  3. No doubt after some time, we will be told that our beloved Cassandra is like Martin - a plant by cunning beeboids to discredit Biased BBC.

  4. @Ex-Anonymous: Plant or not, she's doing a bang-up job.

  5. Oh, I don't know. She's being made to look good. In the Question Time thread, we get this rhetorical gem:

    Travis Bickle: "Diane Abbott is like a chocolate hobnob because they both come out with shit."

    Okaaay then, Travis. You appear to have mistaken your dachshund for a pack of biccies. Any easy mistake to make. I once shot a bunch of commies by accident when I really meant to change a lightbulb.

  6. To be fair to biased BBC. Miliband is a British Jew the chief Rabbi of Poland is a Polish Jew.
    I think I know which one is best qualified to judge on Polish politics.
    Of course Labour's allies in the EU never used to belong to anti Jewish parties. Oh actually one used to belong to Sinn Fein.