Tuesday, 15 December 2009

FAQ FAQ FAQ 2


The BBC's Environment Satan, Richard Black, asked a humdinger today: Why are virtually all climate "sceptics" men? It turns out that this was an appalling thing to say, so Biased BBCers marked the occasion by asking some searching questions of their own:


Why not ask why are most lesbians fat and ugly?


Apart from the ones in your special video collection.


Why do lots of beeboids take drugs?


Because the Taliban pays them in smack.


Why does the BBC believe that Gordon Brown can control the rise in global temperature, when he can't control the rise in mass immigration into Britain?


Because he's found a button marked Global Thermostat, but he can't find the magic wand which will make foreigners go away.


Why do biased environ-mental propagandists spend so much time polluting the planet flying en masse all round the globe reading The Guardian?


Because the in-flight magazines to Copenhagen are even worse than Flybe's.


Why is it the BBC always dress to the left (or rather flop limply)


It's gay code. It means they're gagging for a goat herd fantasy with Martin. On Hampstead Heath.


and bring Sarah Palin into everything if they can do some damage whilst Saint Obama gets a free ride with his unpopular big government ways?


Because Obama is an idiot and Sarah is not. Or something like that.


Why is it that the BBC manages to turn me from meek to angry of Mayfair?


Because all of the news makes you angry and the BBC provides most of it. Plus you live in Scunthorpe.


Why is it that those sceptical of the man-made global warming science, christians, right wingers, libertarians, little englanders, tories, against-multiculturalism, against islamification, against big government, anti-EU etc, etc should pay the licence fee?


Because it gives Marcus Brigstocke intense pleasure.


Why are virtually all Guardian "readers" handwringing pussies?


It's complicated, but basically all the assholes and dicks ended up somewhere else. Can't quite locate it just now, but it had a familiar ring.


3 comments:

  1. Team America deals with the philosophies of pussies, dicks and assholes very stylishly. It is truly a Bible for our times.

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  2. "Why is it that the BBC manages to turn me from meek to angry of Mayfair?"

    Because:

    (1) Biased BBC obsesses about a limited range of topics
    (2) the BBC cannot cover subjects in a way that will please obsessives
    (3) the BBC makes a vast range of programmes which can educate, divert, amuse, inform and fascinate most people rather than aggravate them... but you need to stop watching only news items about Israel to benefit from this.

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  3. "Why is it that the BBC manages to turn me from meek to angry of Mayfair?"

    Because your newsagent sold out of Razzle. Clearly.

    ReplyDelete