Biased BBC's distinctive dialect Advanced Vance™ is especially useful in helping us to speak of religious matters. Today, B-BBC Grand Ayatollah David Vance shows us how this special patois can assist us in discussing the role of the Church in supporting political negotiations:
The leaders of Ireland's four main churches have urged politicians to redouble their efforts in talks to save the future of the Stormont power-sharing government.
Good for them. Putting aside doctrinal differences for the greater good.
Their plea came after Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Taoiseach Brian Cowen left the talks venue at Hillsborough castle, Co Down, on Wednesday without securing agreement.
It's tough getting Sinn Fein and the DUP to see eye-to-eye on law'n'order. Who knows - perhaps a Right Reverend or two can smooth the process?
It's a favoured tactic of government...
Uh-oh...
...to drag out these clerical clowns…
Advanced Vance™ : Clerical Clowns = The leaders of the Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian and Methodist Churches in Ireland.
…and get them to act as echo chambers for prevailing policy.
Advanced Vance™ : Echo Chambers = People who disagree with David Vance.
After all, they were to the fore in cheer-leading to get convicted murderers out of prison…
Advanced Vance™ : Cheer-leading etc. = Supporting the Good Friday Peace Process
...so we can all see how morally bankrupt they are.
Advanced Vance™ : Morally bankrupt = People who disagree with David Vance.
And now, they PLEAD for the political class to prostitute the essential tenets of Policing and Justice so that the IRA can also corrupt that.
Advanced Vance™ : Prostitute the essential tenets etc. = Stand by the St Andrews Agreement on devolving power to Northern Ireland.
Wholly fools.
Advanced Vance™ : Wholly fools = Anyone with religious authority who dares disagree with David Vance.
I also note that "business leaders" and trade unionists have been on the media also begging for a rancid deal.
That's religion, the world of business and trade unionism who agree with Downing St and with the Irish Government... and therefore oppose David Vance's will. Everyone lets David Vance down.
It's 1998 all over again. It's still right to say No.
Advanced Vance™ : 1998 = 1690
The BBC narrative on what is happening here...
Advanced Vance™ : The BBC narrative = Impartial reporting.
...is framed in almost childish terms.
Advanced Vance™ : Childish Terms = The BBC refusing to accept No Surrender as the entire basis for Northern Ireland politics.
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Surely Vance is right. The Christian thing to do would be to abandon all agreements and allow the Loyalist and Republican thugs to argue the toss all over again. Plus the Army don't have much on their plate, so dodging bullets and roadside bombs in South Armagh would be just the ticket for Our Boys.
ReplyDeleteWell, you know that Vance starts his wonky rants based on a few false premises.
ReplyDeleteWe'll start with:
1) Vance thinks the Republicans have won; ergo, the Republicans think they've won. And frankly, they don't. If they really got what they set out to achieve all those years ago, then Ireland would be ruled from Dublin. But they didn't. Instead they have a complex power-sharing system that every fucker is trying to ruin by chipping away at it slowly.
2) Anyone who accepts that power-sharing is the way to go is a traitor, because accepting power-sharing is giving in to terrorism. And anyone who gives in to terrorism is a terrorist. Giving in to terrorism is a clear signal that you're weak, and terrorism works. Of course, that isn't true, because terrorism hasn't worked and the Republicans haven't got what they want. They've got a watered down version of a unified country. That's why CIRA and RIRA are still mincing about killing people - because Republicans didn't get what they wanted.
3) Vance shouting No Surrender is different from Republican terrorists who remain unrepentant and active. It's not. Vance is breeding terrorism with that attitude because the likelihood is that Vance has always lived in a nice, middle-class area and not the fucking Falls Road. The short answer is that like most extreme agitators, Vance has never had to stomach the end result of his own beliefs, except by watching the BBC and deciding they're not reporting it as he sees it from his quiet suburban semi.
In summary, Vance is a bell-end.