Biased BBC's distinctive dialect Advanced Vance™ is especially useful in helping us to speak of religious matters. Today, B-BBC Grand Ayatollah David Vance shows us how this special patois can assist us in discussing the role of the Church in supporting political negotiations:
The leaders of Ireland's four main churches have urged politicians to redouble their efforts in talks to save the future of the Stormont power-sharing government.
Good for them. Putting aside doctrinal differences for the greater good.
Their plea came after Prime Minister Gordon Brown and Taoiseach Brian Cowen left the talks venue at Hillsborough castle, Co Down, on Wednesday without securing agreement.
It's tough getting Sinn Fein and the DUP to see eye-to-eye on law'n'order. Who knows - perhaps a Right Reverend or two can smooth the process?
It's a favoured tactic of government...
...to drag out these clerical clowns…
Advanced Vance™ : Clerical Clowns = The leaders of the Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian and Methodist Churches in Ireland.
…and get them to act as echo chambers for prevailing policy.
Advanced Vance™ : Echo Chambers = People who disagree with David Vance.
After all, they were to the fore in cheer-leading to get convicted murderers out of prison…
Advanced Vance™ : Cheer-leading etc. = Supporting the Good Friday Peace Process
...so we can all see how morally bankrupt they are.
Advanced Vance™ : Morally bankrupt = People who disagree with David Vance.
And now, they PLEAD for the political class to prostitute the essential tenets of Policing and Justice so that the IRA can also corrupt that.
Advanced Vance™ : Prostitute the essential tenets etc. = Stand by the St Andrews Agreement on devolving power to Northern Ireland.
Advanced Vance™ : Wholly fools = Anyone with religious authority who dares disagree with David Vance.
I also note that "business leaders" and trade unionists have been on the media also begging for a rancid deal.
That's religion, the world of business and trade unionism who agree with Downing St and with the Irish Government... and therefore oppose David Vance's will. Everyone lets David Vance down.
It's 1998 all over again. It's still right to say No.
Advanced Vance™ : 1998 = 1690
The BBC narrative on what is happening here...
Advanced Vance™ : The BBC narrative = Impartial reporting.
...is framed in almost childish terms.
Advanced Vance™ : Childish Terms = The BBC refusing to accept No Surrender as the entire basis for Northern Ireland politics.