Friday, 20 November 2009

Chubby Lezzers Are Sometimes Right

Who can forget David Vance's proud statement of intent for the magnificent bias-hunting machine that is Biased BBC?

Biased BBC is and shall remain a place for civilised debate and attempts to suggest otherwise are pathetic.

So well put. Which is why it's such a delight to journey alongside the moral giants at B-BBC as they liveblog Question Time and demonstrate the timeless hallmarks of civilised debate.

Guest of honour last night was the celebrated Libertarian blogger Old Holborn. Read and learn how the great and the good of the bias-hunting fraternity approach current events in a civilised, debating kind of way. Over to Old Holborn:

First a greeting: Everning cunts

Then our learned friend responds to the following questions from other eminent livebloggers. (A gentleman of darker hue has appeared on the screen): Taliban? Muzzie?

Mr Holborn gives us the benefit of his wisdom: Nah, sIkh. Turban = friend


Alas! Another gentleman of Asiatic countenance has appeared: Loon Paki

Mr Holborn has been ruminating on the future of the Labour MP Mr Phil Woolas: Send Woolas to a gay prison

Now Mr Holborn reveals his insight into the nature of the studio audience: Full of coons and wallahs

On the distinguished Liberal Parliamentarian, Sir Menzies Campbell: I really really want to kill him

And now the former Labour Minister Miss Clare Short: Shut the fuck up. you chubby lezzer

Stay the horses! Miss Short has made a criticism of her former confederates in New Labour: Calre Short is very, very ugly. But she is RIGHT

A debate ensues during which Biased BBC alumni choose which parts of the United Kingdom they would most enjoy bombing. Mr Holborn's home county is, disturbingly, threatened: Oi CUNT! I'm in Essex! (Well, South Suffolk)

Now a winsome young lady attracts the cameraman's interest: TOTTY

Alas, pulchritude is set aside for another intervention from the right hon Phil Woolas MP: I want to stab Woolas

Let us hope that the sage contribution of a Conservative front-bencher will temper the savage beast of Mr Holborn's criticism!

What dismay: Chris Grayling is a septic oyster

Perhaps if the young ladies and gentlemen of our kingdom were less interested in "rock bands" and "alco-pops", they could learn from Mr Holborn the art of conducting oneself with dignity in our "cyber-age". Alas, the frequent scenes of mayhem in our drinking establishments demonstrate that not enough of our younger generation follow Mr Holborn and Mr David Vance in maintaining...

a place for civilised debate

Is it too much to ask?


  1. Plenty of classics there, but "Chris Grayling is a septic oyster" is my choice cut.

  2. There is something terrifying about that live chat they do for Question Time. It's like Biased BBC Uncensored: The Raw and Rough version (Recommended only for hardcore bias hunters - though casual racists/nutters/weirdos are welcome too).

  3. Anon

    The live blog is a highway straight through to the psyche of so many of them. And what an ugly place that is.

  4. Good job, keep it up

  5. "Loon paki"? "coons and wallahs"? Seriously? They are revolting.

  6. O.B.M.E.

    I agree with you entirely on this issue. When are our fair minded Socialist government going to act upon these odious racists and remove them from the blogsphere for good? David Vance and Old Holborn are simply Fascists, attempting to destabilise all that New Labour and their well meaning allies, have gloriously built over this last decade and more.
    We Socialists cannot continue to handle these people with kid gloves. Gordon must act, and he must act now to close them all down for once and for all.

  7. I'm not sure; Biased BBC is full of nutcases, but 'socialist unity' sounds nucking futs too.

    Close down the blogs? Starting and ending with who though?

  8. Is Socialist Unity joking?

  9. Joking? In a clunking way, it's meant to be a wind-up, I'm sure. Bit of subtlety might help.

  10. "David Vance and Old Holborn are simply Fascists, attempting to destabilise all that New Labour and their well meaning allies, have gloriously built over this last decade and more."

    Attempting to de-stabilise! - how, by writing semi-literate illogical rants on a website that has turned into a magnificent parody?

    Honestly, the pitiful state of trolling these days.

  11. It is hardly a surprise that Socialist Unity choose this site to pal up with, is it?

  12. My hunch is that he chose this site to wind up, rather than pal up. But hey-ho.

  13. I think David has an irony deficiency.