This blog defers to almost no man in its admiration for the steely writings of the doom-mongering fanatic eminent commentator Melanie Phillips. She may be the only media heavyweight still willing to believe the measles autism scare, the most enthusiastic prophet of an Islamic apocalypse and the person most likely to call you an anti-semite for doubting Israel's perfection. But she's our favourite head girl.
Ahead in the queue of admirers, though, is Biased BBC, which regularly compares her trenchant views on Muslim nastiness with The BBC's Taliban-adoration. And so B-BBC's Liveblog celebrated her appearance on yesterday's Question Time with unconfined joy, and typical literary panache.
Steve: Shame Melanie looks like a lesbian school teacher
Beware of Geeks: I don't have a problem with lesbians. In fact, I have all their videos
Saul: SHE'S LIKE AN OLD HARRY POTTER
regor: never mind the looks admire the intellectual rigor
Julio: she's better looking than that scotch minger
Quite. And here is the distinguished Libertarian blogger Old Holborn to cap things off. What do you make of her, good sir?
Old Holborn: Melanie has a cunt like a stamped bat
Indeed, sirrah. And what other views did you form of this lively topical programme?
On Lord Falconer: KILL HIM
To the Conservative panellist the Rt Hon David Davis: Go on, have the cunt
In disappointment at Mr Davis's reserve: DD is a wanker.
To a member of the audience: Bukake faced tosspot
And another: Tory poof
To the Scottish Health Secretary, Ms Nicola Sturgeon: she has arse hair
To another member of the public: labour poof
Urging an audience rebellion against Labour: You WHIMPS. Storm the stage and WICKERMAN time
An American speaker: FUCK. OFF. YANK
Someone with whom Mr Holborn disagrees: FUCK OFF CUNT
Milord Falconer again: You fat, ugly CUNT. YOU are the obstacle to the third world becoming wealthier
To a winsome young woman: FIT
Is it any wonder that Mr Holborn's regular epistles have earned him the soubriquet of 9th Top Political Blog in the United Kingdom? Hurrah for eloquence!
His scintillating wit and repartee have many disciples on the Biased BBC Liveblog. Here is some witty banter between two of the eager young pups:
Headsonpoles: we need to see some tits here
Norton Folgate: no tits but a talking cunt
None of this would reach its dizzying heights of articulacy without the ring-master of readin' and writin' himself, the glorious David Vance. Here he is, introducing a particular favourite of Biased BBC readers, the humourist Marcus Brigstocke.
Brigstocke needs strung up even before the show starts,
as a joke, of course.
But of course! Ha Ha!
Julio: yes, hang Brigstock
Beardy-Bill: kill him!!!!
It is unnecessary perhaps, but let us indulge ourselves in savouring Mr Vance's earnest commendation of his website to gentler readers:
Biased BBC is and shall remain a place for civilised debate and attempts to suggest otherwise are pathetic.
Oh yes indeed.