Sunday, 11 October 2009

Brown's Legacy: A Tiny, Unreadable Graph. Apparently.

We can only presume that David Vance was distracted by another M&S lingerie ad featuring Myleene Klass when he posted on his Irish blog yesterday. Something clearly went wrong in the concept/delivery continuum:

I think this sums it all up.....Gordon Brown's legacy to the people of the United Kingdom...

Our Crumlinology Department has worked all night trying to assess the meaning and significance of Mr Vance's graphic. They think it may be illustrating one of the following:
a: Tasteful jokes about the PM's lack of vision.b: Martin's turd output c: David Vance's civility purges d: BBC rent-boy consumption (as imagined by Martin)e: Terrifying hordes of, erm, Muzziesf: Number of times David Vance has awoken at 4 am and wondered why he bothers
Perhaps our readers could suggest what the chart is actually meant to represent?


  1. This is a bar chart.

    By which, I mean it was thought up and plotted down the pub. It probably makes sense if you're blind drunk.

    I suggest drinking something strong and British - perhaps the Geoff Capes brand super strength cider - and report back to the blog so we can find out exactly what Gordon Brown's legacy is.

  2. David has been measuring his own arousal in the manner of Adrian Mole's bedroom chart. The bars on the left and right are Myleene Klass and Sarah Palin. The one in the middle is whenever he thinks about nuking brown people. End of.

  3. Cracked it.... It reflects David's sampling of BBC broadcasts. Column 1 is the Today programme, column 3 is Question Time. Column 2, easily the most significant. is the one David judges to be the most important in all BBC output (and Martin agrees, BTW) and that, of course, is Nicky Campbell's Sunday TV show. All other consumption, especially of drama, arts, documentary, children's, sport and non-Muslim/gay/climate-centred news was so insignificant it didn't show. Which is why Biased BBC is such a good indicator of the BBC's overall balance.

  4. Terry Hubblescope11 October 2009 at 17:20

    We have Valmorphanised the artwork using patented NASA technologies. Scraping away layers of dirt, grime, Tip-ex and unknown substances, you find three things:

    1. That the original title of the graph was Everybody Who's To Blame
    2. The smaller columns are labelled NuLiebour and Muslims. The largest one is the BBC.
    3. The document is older than at first appeared. The main column has always been the BBC. But the others were originally labelled Socialism and Catholics.

    It's just like walking into a time tunnel to our recent past!

  5. Vance has launched himself into overdrive - I counted twelve new posts on his blog today.

    The thoughts are coming so fast into his brain he doesn't have time to process them!

  6. Terry Hubblescope12 October 2009 at 08:06

    Oh yes and the new series of Dr Who starts soon!

  7. More Constipated than Educated12 October 2009 at 13:58


  8. Dear "More Constipated than Educated"

    I thought you might like to know that I once had a mathematics professor who was extremely constipated and highly educated. He suffered for years and anguished about how to deal with his problem.

    But eventually he worked it out with a pencil.

  9. More Constipated than Educated- you didnt read that article past the headline did you?

  10. Actually perhaps I am being unfair. Perhaps you did read the article then in a stunning display of stupidity decided that an article by the BBC detailing a report by a scientist claiming their may be another explanation to climate change than it being man made is evidence that the BBC is lying about climate change.

    So are they lying that the scientist claiming that climate change is not man made is telling the truth or are they lying about their even being a scientist that beleives climate change is not man made. Or are they lying about their being any climate change at all.

    In fact my mind is reeling with all the logical conclusions that can be brought about by your assertion that the BBC are lying about climate change by writing an article questioning the origins of climate change.

    Actually you know one way to make sure that any clonclusions I come to could not in any way be questioned by anyone else? WRITE IT IN SHRIEKING CAPITALS.

    Actually you could have gone better and added a load of !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the end of your statement.

    This beats even peer reviewed randomised controlled research papers you know.

  11. Also I seem to have had a brain fat and confused their and there twice in that article. All these questions have confused me you see.

  12. See. See what its done to me. Brain fart.

  13. I dunno. Clearly the "brains" at B-BBC are a little bit flabby...

  14. constipated beyond educated? what the hell? who troll's a troll?? it's blatently david vance or somone desperatly trying to get revenge...