The Dark Lords Of Perpetual Warfare c/o Broadcasting House.

David Vance's never-ending attempts to bring civility to Biased BBC have achieved many wonders. Sadly, though, you can't make an omelette without breaking legs. Or something.

One much-missed victim of the last purge-but-one was the legendary seer Atlas Shrugged, who combined a unique gift for conspiracy theory with the literary style of a depressed and mildly dyslexic town hall clerk.

Before the sands of time close over Mr Shrugged's oeuvre, our archaeological experts have preserved his last message before transmission abruptly ended. Who knows what he really meant to tell us - peace in the Middle East was its apparent theme - but his signature style was undimmed even as darkness drew close.

this must all lead to an inevitable war, of a far more serious nature in the future.

Inevitable? No doubt about that, then.

However it MAY not,

Aha: A unique inevitable that may not happen…

So called leftists has a problem.

Damn right. Leftists is plural and has is singular.

Which mainly comprises several million Israeli citizens, who would very much, to say the least, prefer to remain so.

Inevitably. Or perhaps a "maybe-not" inevitably?

As Israeli people have no intention of going anywhere, and in most cases have nowhere to go anyway.

That can't be true. They've got kibbutzes for a start. And beaches...

"HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM."

...and spacecraft, apparently.

I am at a loss, as to what The BBC have in mind as a possible, never mind a peaceful, solution.

You're not confusing them with the UN are you? Or possibly ACAS?

The BBC therefore has future WAR as its agenda,

Good grief. That's what they're up to in Salford.

or no agenda whatsoever.

Okaaay...

In IMO the BBC always has an agenda, regarding things that it spends much time reporting on.

Getting dizzy now. War or no war? Agenda or no agenda?

It also very often has agendas concerning things and matters in never reports on, as we all surly know.

Stop calling me surly.

The BBC loves people to believe it desires peace, and likes to give the impression that it somehow has the magic answer regarding how to achieve it. "If only those silly people down there, listened to us, the vastly superior people up here, everything in the world would be just dandy." that sort of thinking. Yet the result is usually blood and guts in the end, whatever the BBC gets up to.

Blood and guts, whatever they do? Does that include CBBC? And Test Match Special? Please, God, say it isn't so.

The BBC's given agendas is at the moment a simple one. But it could change, and change very quickly, over night in fact.

Let's hope it's a tad more grammatical than yours.

There will never be peace virtually anywhere in the world for very long, if the BBC has anything to do with it. Which is SELF-EVIDENTLY just fine, as far as the people who REALLY control the BBC are concerned.

Jonathan Ross's agent may be a tricky bugger. But is he really the dark lord of perpetual warfare?

When conspired to happen events change the situation, you never know the BBC might one day get instructions to start promoting actual peace in the world. This instead of just pretending to, while doing and saying everything possible to make the situation as bloody, hopeless, and expensive as possible.

Irreplaceable. If confusing.