Sunday, 18 October 2009

Why The Long Face, Horseface?

One of the many fine qualities of Biased BBC is that it sometimes notices that the BBC does other bad stuff besides employing journalists who hate America, support the Taliban and lie to keep Gordon Brown in office.

The Beeb also produces comedy shows starring frightful left-wingers who hate America, support the Taliban and try to keep Gordon Brown in office. Where are the right-wing comedians who should be given equal air-time?

Step forward Biased BBC longtime jester Jack Bauer. Jack is an acquired taste, so we've asked our Comedy Research Unit to explain just how Mr Bauer nails his targets.

Yesterday, Biased BBC was in uproar over Woman's Hour promising an item on Margaret Beckett MP, whose "career has been long and illustrious". Jack cocks his comedy shotgun and gives feminazi Beckett both hilarious barrels.

Be fair David. Don't you remember her unexpected win in the 1967 Grand National as a 100/1 longshot?

Translation: Margaret Beckett looks like a horse.

Well, she was called Foinavon back then, so you are excused.

Margaret Beckett looks like a real horse, which was called Foinavon.

And she still likes eating carrots from your hand as you stroke her nose.

Margaret Beckett eats like a horse. And you can stroke her nose.

Jack knows you should always leave 'em wanting more, so he backs off at this point to leave us helpless with grateful laughter.

It's been a little while since The BBC got shut of Russell Brand. Could this be the right moment to hand his comedy crown to Jokin' Jack?


  1. I don't know why it's so hard to find funny right win comedians. Peter Hitchins and Melanie Phillips crack me up every time.

  2. Good God. Jack really is dull-witted, isn't he?