Monday, 26 October 2009

Lucky Lonely Goatherds

One question has taxed the world's romantic philosophers since it was first posed by the great Jimmy Ruffin: What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted?

That poignant brain-teaser might just have been solved by Biased BBC's leading social commentator, Martin. Tracking back for a few months, it is clear that he thinks that broken-hearted goatherds in rural Pakistan stand a way-above-average chance of copping off with someone new:

August 27th: Anyone else notice on the Beeboid 6PM news that boys were absent in any of the shots of "happy students" passing their GCSE's?

The beeboids did manage to give us a lingering shot of some Muslim females of course. Wow all those qualifications just to be married off to an inbred retard of a Goat herder in Pakistan.

August 28th: Why would the BBC bother to point out the growing Muslim problem? Beeboids love Muslims, especially the mad ones with the big bushy beards. And don't forget Islam according to the BBC is liberating for women.

More 14 year old girls to be sent off to Pakistan to be raped and married off to some thick Goat Herder.

October 26th: I wonder how many 14 year old Muslim girls are sent off to Pakistan each year to be raped and married to an inbred goat herder? Shami (Chakrabarti) never seems to be bothered about that.

August 28th: i once texted Radio 5 and gave an anti Muslim view. Needless to say the BBc didn't read my text out nor did they ring me back to see if I'd like to go to air.

You amaze us.


  1. Well, be thankful of something - at least the Taliban goatherder now has something to channel his energies towards instead of leaving his hometown, arriving in London and having work as a rent boy and then working his way up through the BBC to become head of anti-right wing programming and the pro-muslim propaganda unit (aka religious affairs). As so many others have done up until now.

  2. Radio 5 must love it when he texts in.

  3. That's at least three happy goatherds: The first is an inbred retard, the second is thick and the third simply inbred. Can't help but wonder what the BBC does with its money if it's not picking up this heartwarming traffic in human kindness - lovely, well-educated British girls bringing marital fulfilment to these (very) simple country folk. Perhaps one of the commercial channels could give Martin a slot to tell his romantic morality tales. Al Beeb clearly won't.

  4. I'm swaying back towards thinking Martin is some "left-winger's" fun diversion rather than what he purports to be.

  5. High on a hill, there's a lonely goatherd!
    Allahu Akbar!
    Ash-had anna lah ilaha illallah!
    Ash-hadu anna Muħammadar rasulullah!
    Hayya 'ala-salah!
    Hayya 'ala 'l-falah!
    Al-salatu khayru min an-nawm!
    Allāhu akbar!
    La ilaha illallah!

    Lay-ee ode lay-ee ode lay-hee hoo.

  6. Derail: what's with B-BBC's obsession with age, in that they consistently imagine themselves as unlistened-to sages and their political or rhetorical opponents barely out of short trousers?

    Very curious, especially when B-BBC's poster in chief is a (self-described) nineteen year old and so many of them seem to still be going through the kind of black and white (no pun intended) approach to politics most people got over before their twentieth birthdays.

  7. Martin often refers to listening to Fivelive in his car. It clearly makes him an angry young man. Why doesn't he just switch to a different station?

  8. Ex-anon:

    I thought Biased BBC's poster-in-chief was Mr Vance. The copyright notice at the bottom of the site asserts his ownership, in any case.

    Certainly, the wee chap twinkling out of the screen at us c/o various YouTube appearances looks nearer 49 than 19...

  9. OMTE.

    My mistake. I meant "commenter in-chief".

    Please accept my humble apologies, and please convey my sincere regret to Mr Vance for shaving 30 years off his life - through which he would presumably have to had listened or watched the BBC constantly through the day, the poor little sausage.

  10. You really do need to get out more. Tracking other peoples comments back because you take offence? Have you ever pondered that just like you, Martin may have his tongue planted firmly in his cheek when coming out with such waffle?

  11. Or more to the point, have you ever pondered that Martin may have his tongue planted firmly in someone else's cheeks when coming out with such waffle?