Saturday, 3 October 2009

Memo From The DG: Be Paedophiles To Save The Licence Fee

Good news! Biased BBC's Grand Ayatollah, David Vance, is announcing a new crackdown on bad language. It only gives our enemies ammunition, apparently.

It must be, oooh, at least two weeks since he last announced a civility drive. Our sewage monitors have been steeling themselves to measure the civility shown to the BBC and its staff since the last purge. Here it is:

Look at that bitch's teethThey mince about the world Aunty's Gordon Groupies whipping up fear an incubator for fanatics and bigots Turdell beeboid scum Goebbels would have approved what whipped bitches the BBC are cockwaffle the fat twat Mardell an asshole gay leftie beeboids execrable Peter Allen airhead Pravda mincer boy dregs of society camp beeboids the bin laden broadcasting corp anti-semitic little bastards wants a bit of Gordon's backside a vile piece of human scum filth toilets She is vile human scum because she's a leftie beeboid scum vile scum a parasite who can't get a real job cack Fat Belly Sir michael Shite up the backside of Liebour mincers in a knife fight fattie they love the homosexual hanging Muslims in Iran will probably be performing oral on Mandy slobbering slobbering house-trained Obamaphiliacs the Queen of breakfast radio Nicki Campbell it should be great to see beeboids jumping out of windows Shitman Female beeboid wetting her knickers Liebour turd sniffer camp male beeboid Prick What an obnoxious little faggot that manchild is a turd up the arse of Obama they'd happily shag 5 year old kids if it meant keeping the TV tax hatred of Jews kiddy fiddlers vermin scumbags little wet camp left wing arts turdes vile no end of vile lefties Cocaine and 14 year old boy's bottoms will be in full flow Obama turd sniffers horseshit wanking on shitting rent boys druggie rent boy users

It is not only the BBC and its staff who get such courtesy, of course. In response to Ayatollah Vance's please-be-nice posting, Gigits sniggers away about a BBC story on housing teenage mothers. It's a "Huts for sluts" initiative, apparently.

Genteel debate since the Morality Police last visited Biased BBC has included the following, directed at environmental protestors, Labour and Liberal politicians, random people in the news and, occasionally, each other.

leftie dykes ANGRY WHITE lefty dykes fascist pigs so full of hate the same mindless bigots let loose during the cultural revolution/nazi Germany/soviet Russia mentally retarded Cable the one eyed coward a frigging liar a fat smelly vile ugly wife cheating turd lumbering foolish brute taxaholic socialist filth as fat as he is stupid and ugly the (Afghan) people are not worth the steam off my turds some Muzzie coming from a shithole like Afghanistan retarded old fool Gordon Brown's skidmarked pants sniffer Hideous vile looking woman one eyed snot eater jock gay boy a Dog on heat trying to sniff Obama's arse one eyed prat ugly face McMentals the Prince of Mince little leftie turd arsehole your effing thick left wing bonehead the one eyed mong the one eyed twat I hope someone rams a red hot poker into his throat retard

Our own turd inspectors report that the overwhelming majority of diarrhoea sluices out of one single location, the legendary Martin, who seems to lead a charmed life despite Biased BBC's frequent warnings about incivility. Whilst dissident posters get their IP addresses banned, Martin gets to share his toilet habits with us in all their glistening detail.

It might just be time to remind ourselves of David Vance's mantra:

B-BBC is and shall remain a place for civilised debate and attempts to suggest otherwise are pathetic.


  1. Has anyone come across Martin and his trademark turd-talk anywhere else on the web? Lots of the other B-BBC - ahem - commentators can be found banging on elsewhere, but I've seen no trace of his distinctive rent-boy-conspiracy stuff elsewhere.

  2. I wondered if Martin was to be found elsewhere. Sadly I've let my gaydar profile lapse which would be the obvious place to start.

    Meanwhile, from the comments the BBBC leader speaks;
    "Listen, the ONLY people I have ever banned on any sites with which I am associated have strayed over the line and engaged in personal insults and or persistent trolling. If some think that harsh, tough. The idea that those who take issue with the site are banned is nonsense, people are free to disagree. They are not free to be disagreeable. "

    I'm not quite sure how this statement squares with Martin running riot and Scott apperently being banned thhough.

  3. I suspect Martin may be the 'Martin, Ashford' who regularly comments at the Daily Heil. They filter out the foul language, but the obsession with the BBC and 'Liebour' seems to be similar.

    Nice to see that Vance thinks I am a sock puppet rather than a troll - another fantasy to add to his many.

  4. Poor old, Gus. Takes ages writing a thoughtful post about what's wrong with B-BBC and DV basically tells him to f*** off.

  5. Apparently "straying over the line" includes asking if Vance's civility crackdown would be applied universally, and if he would apologise for those occasions on which he has been less than civil himself.

  6. I think you fail to realise that fairness, consistency and moral purpose - not to mention a respect for evidence - are the burdens of tax-funded organisations like the BBC. Apparently you can do what you like so long as taxation isn't involved. Which is nice.

  7. Dave,

    I was actually trying to help them if you think about it, surely they would like real people to take their views seriously. Or not, it appears. Let's face it, the whole thing is a vanity exercise for a certain Mr Vance. The internet allows people like him to feel like they actually reach out to people. He's a bitter old idelogue who clearly tried his hand at politics and failed, so therefore he turned the phrase on its head and decided to shoot the messenger. Hence the obsession with bias at the BBC. You would think he would want to be taken seriously, but that is never ever going to happen the way things are. I can't believe stuff like Guido gets taken seriously, but I suppose at least he does get some scopes. He kinda practises some form of investigative blog writing; Vance is basically just a ranter.

  8. that should obviously be scoops, not scopes. I type too quickly...

  9. Gus,

    From today's postings on Vance's Irish blog:

    The Judiciary are the enemy

    Now it's the courts. They join the generals, politicians of every stripe, the Irish electorate, the Northern Irish electorate, fellow Unionists, and, of course, the British Broadcasting Corporation: What do they have in common? They all let David Vance down.

    Thank God there's Grizzly Mama and her Troll, Martin, the sweet-natured blokes who dreamt up Jacqui Smith Is A Cunt for our enrichment: Reliable types who just might make a world fit for David.

  10. Scott,

    It's not even the lack of civility/general insults that bothers me most, it's the opinion disguised as fact. A cursory, uncritical glance at B-BBC might make one think that the BBC do actually say/suggest the things that David Vance claims, but when you go to the link he posts, the actual story bares no resemblance to his interpretation of it.

    The other thing that I find hilarious is his refusal to admit that he is wrong. Even when someone points out a factual error in one of his posts, or corrects him in any way, he cannot accept he made a mistake, and a chorus of chumps leap in yelling 'leftie' or 'beeboird'. I called him out on some nonsense post about supposed pro Labour bias a week or two ago, and my point was never adressed, I was just Vance's idea of a typical Labour/BBC left wing idealogue who knows nothing. When I pointed out I wasn't left wing, nor a Labour supporter, I just simply became a beeboid. Insane. You cannot use reason with these people; logic and reason are irrelevant to them.

  11. The funny thing is these people genuinely think they are the voice of the British general public, but I'd put money on the public wondering if these guys are parodies.

    Their views and experiences are just so far removed from joe public.

  12. No coincidence Mr Vance is so bound up in the politics of Northern Ireland. Plonk a totally British Orangeman down in Manchester say in full sash and bowlerhat and the rest of the British population would treat him like a recently landed alien rather than a classic example of what makes this country great.

  13. I wish a bowlerhat and an orange sash were all a person needed to a great Briton. Life would be so simple if that were the case.

    I have an old dutch football shirt and a trillby - does that count?