Sunday 11 October 2009

Never Trust Animated Clouds.


Biased BBC has an interesting sideline in tribute acts. Earlier in the summer, a poster named after the late US diplomat Robert S McNamara popped up occasionally to tell blood-soaked tales of his lethal tyre iron.


An even longer-running wannabe is one Jack Bauer, who sometimes chills out from defeating terrorism around the clock by posting tedious leaden hilarious jokes. Oddly, he's at his funniest when he's trying to be serious. Like this Biased BBC contribution on global warming:


the problem is that people don't know the difference between Carbon Monoxide, and Carbon DIOXIDE. the colourless, odorless gas also known as Dry Ice.


One kills you in cheap holiday flats. The other makes ho-hum rock bands look marginally more interesting.


I blame the ignorance factories we have masquerading as schools.


Kids go in well-informed. And come out trying to kill themselves inhaling Coldplay's special effects.


Last year some mendacious "green" car insurance company produced ads in which a noxious looking BLACK CLOUD spewed from a car and chased people around.


Like those old Lottery ads. It Could Be You-oo. Oo. Oo.


I kid you not.--- while the santimonious VO droned on about CO2.


Are you sure the CO wasn't droning on about BO? With the Boho from Soho?


The unmistakeable visual lie was that this noxious gas was Carbon Dioxide.


I've been running in fear from exhausts ever since. AND IT WAS ALL A LIE?


I complained, of course, to the Advertising Standards on the grounds that it was a blatant attempt to mislead. It was false advertising, etc.


Open and shut case, Jack. I always assume animated stuff in insurance ads is literally true. Like comedy meerkats. And dogs that talk like John Prescott.


Got absolutley NOWHERE.


And they call it justice? Good job you're a maverick cop and a law unto yourself. A weaker individual might crumble at the conspiracies all around him.


39 comments:

  1. The Advertising Standards Authority: Just like the Taliban, but with better expense accounts. Here's what they had to say about Jack's complaint about the black clouds:

    We considered that the representation of car exhaust fumes... was fanciful and noted it was intended to convey the claim that ibuyeco car insurance sought to offset the environmental impact of driving. We considered that consumers were unlikely to be misled by the image...

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  2. F*** Me, it must be easy to get a slot on BBC Northern Ireland. David Vance has been asked to make a report for a local show called Hearts And Minds. Clear proof of the BBC narrative acting to stifle alternative voices, no doubt. You do wonder if, when he walks into that studio, whether he will feel even the slightest bit of doubt about the filth he has poured down on the heads of every single person who works there, and many more. Will the refrain Die You Stinking Lying Offal come to mind when the nice wee girl brings his cup of coffee?

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  3. I've been studying with Interest some of the blogs connected with the Biased BBC and these people aren't ironic as some have commented, they're thinly veiled racists. Take Dazed & Confused (A.K.A. Hopespringseternal) for example. He seems to think that This Video Attack on our Comrades at the BBC and New Labour is somehow justifiable as humorous.
    I find it both slanderous and despicable that he has the nerve to launch attacks on everything that is good about modern Britain under Gordon Brown. The U.A.F. will hear of these people.

    Thank you Comrades for bringing to my attention this disgraceful area of the blogsphere that will now be looked into.

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  4. Comrade

    Thanks for the link. Looked like an awful lot of effort for a one-line joke. But hey-ho...if the guy's got the spare time...

    Anon

    Either way suits. But thanks for making that clear.

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  5. Wow. That's an interesting video by old Dazed and Confused.

    I was confused as to how and from what he uploaded it, because apparently he still lives in a Goodbye Lenin-esque world in which the Cold War is still raging. Perhaps in addition to his obvious talents as a film director he also has created a generation-jumping parallel communications network.

    I would not be at all surprised at that. B-BBC attracts some of Our Nation's finest academic minds. Our Nation's white, somewhat right-leaning minds, that is.

    Darkies and socialists generally aren't too bright, so it's a good job they don't tend to post too much over at B-BBC, lest they drag down the tone of the conversation.

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  6. More Constipated than Educated12 October 2009 at 14:02

    Maybe when you grow up and realise how life in Britain has changed under Nu Liebore, you'll eat your words. Immigration, terrorism, multiculturalism - all ideas fostered by the do goody left like yourselves. I bet you'd love a Tory government to get in - it would give you lot years of complaining to do. This country needs a bit of common sense politics, less of this PC do goody tolerance bullshit.

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  7. More Constipated than Educated,

    You sound like just the kind of no nonsense person we need to get Our Nation back to its rightful standing. God (well, Allah, in my case), I think we all feel some days like we just need to grow up and be a bit more like you. It feels bad to admit it, but it's true.

    Let's keep this country away from tolerant do gooders and bring in much more intolerant do badders. And instead of stopping immigration, terrorism and multiculturalism, why don't we deal with the causes of those problems. Mass deportation of anyone who votes left of John Redwood would be a start. Followed by compulsory lectures on how bad life is in Britain.

    And I agree. We need to grow up and stop giving mainstream political parties the kind of juvenile names that most seven year old schoolkids would be embarrassed to use.

    PS, you need to read the memos more closely. It's not "Nu Liebore" but "Zanu Liebore", as in Gordon Brown's a bit like that fascist darkie landgrabber Mugabe. Geddit? Hilarious. I can feel the common sense returning to politics already.

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  8. More Constipated than Educated12 October 2009 at 15:16

    Funny you mention zimbabwe. Gordon Brown, Robert Mugabe - whats the difference? both have persecuted white people, both have caused their economies to collapse, both control the media, have had opposition political figures arrested. both are unelected tyrants - you want me to continue?

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  9. Do I want you continue?

    Yes, please. I like a heavy dose of hyperbole to keep me going in the afternoon.

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  10. MCTE

    you want me to continue?

    Feel free. It's excellent entertainment for the rest of us, though frankly a bit odd from someone who appears to be based in an august establishment more usually associated with deeper political perspective.

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  11. MCTE,

    Concider this a 3rd vote for wanting you to continue.
    I would love your treatise on the state of the country and an in-depth comparison of Gordon Brown and Robert Mugabe. I feel it would be enlightening.

    Funny thing though: I'm white and British, yet I don't feel persecuted. Is it coz I is thick? Could your sense of self-worth and persecution complex have more to do with you than with Gordon Brown? Just a thought. However, bring the treatise on!

    Now I note with curiosity your line
    I bet you'd love a Tory government to get in - it would give you lot years of complaining to do.
    Hmmmm? So what you're saying is that Ex-Anonymous (and others)would love a Tory government and he'd love a Labour government; so as no-one else is likely to form a government, it's win-win for Ex-Anonymous, and loose-loose for you. Persecution-complex, eh?! Now I wonder who you'd like to get in with their common-sense?

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  12. [You do wonder if, when he walks into that studio, whether he will feel even the slightest bit of doubt about the filth he has poured down on the heads of every single person who works there, and many more. Will the refrain Die You Stinking Lying Offal come to mind when the nice wee girl brings his cup of coffee?]

    Actually, that is a serious point and I don't see why a BBC host shouldn't raise it - or more to the point, an interlocutor if they put people from various points on the political map around a table.

    Ask him to dissociate himself from his bedfellow who mocks Frank Gardner's disability, for example.

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  13. Should point out I'm not the same Anonymous as the one I pasted the quote from.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks for pointing that out Anonymous.

    And I should point out that I'm not the same Anonymous as the one that pointed out that they were not the same Anonymous as the one that had pasted from the quote.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Socialist Comrade,

    Your U.A.F. democracy, shines like a beacon of hope to all whom survey.

    So lets put this into perspective shall we?

    Mocking the Biased BBC = Jolly Japes.

    Mocking New Labour and the BBC = Racism.

    You couldn't make this up.

    Still, nice to see the real meaning of Opinionated Beyond My Education finally coming to fruition.

    I.E. - Vote Labour or we'll call you a racist.

    Hmmmmm.....Isn't that Fascism?

    ReplyDelete
  16. No, sorry thats not fascism.

    Wikipedia has a very good article on fascism if you need to find out more.

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Hmmmmmm.....Isn't that Fascism?"

    No. Maybe you have your fascism detector set incorrectly. Please return it to the factory and we will supply you with one (free of charge) that successfully detects racist, violent and latently gay skinhead thugs without error. Sorry for any confusion.

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  18. E.B.M.E. (and Comrades)

    So there's no New Labour bias on this blog you say? Funny, since your Comrade friend showed a video of mine on this "Neutral" blog, there's has been an awful lot of "Thumbs down" responses given, every time the terms "Left" or "Labour" have been mentioned in the comments section of the video itself. Obviously they couldn't have come from here though, because your blog is non partisan.

    It's also reassuring to note that your all up to date with the term Fascism too. Something New Labour bloggers must keep close at hand in this day and age, as it seems to change daily.

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  19. Wise words from a New Labour blogger. I shall take them on board.

    Who are you again?

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  20. If you dont know who he is, how do you know hes a Labour blogger?
    Is this the logic you use to determine evidence of bias on the BBC?

    As for the thumbs down comments about your youtube video, well perhaps thats because Youtube comments seem to draw the dregs of humaniyy. One caught my eye in particular, stating that people with left wing views are as bad as paedophiles. Would you have preferred people 'thumbs up' that comment?

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  21. Serotonin,

    Never much read Biased BBC myself anymore let alone comment, so I wouldn't really know.

    On the star of this "Blog" - O.B.M.E. - he used to post as "Hillhunt" in a previous life, and a fair few comments with that particular moniker were awfully reminiscent to a New Labour supporter.

    But "Hey Ho. - Deny all and go.

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  22. Oh, for god's sake. Everybody's a New Labour supporter, apparently, if they dare to venture a counter-opinion over at B-BBC.

    It's one of the blog's central conceits that it is mainstream right wing and not inhabitedly exclusively by the lunatic fringe, not-so-subtle fans of the BNP and the angry unemployed.

    I voted Conservative at the last election but in B-BBC world some months back I've practically been accused of running the BBC using only the Communist Manifesto as my guidance.

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  23. And so what if OBME does vote Labour? I cant see any pro Labour bias on this blog or in fact any party political stuff here. All I see is very amusing commentary of the madder and more unpleasant side of the comments left on B-BBC.

    Ive never voted Labour in my life ad cant see myself ever doing so. But I expect i will be branded with the commie Zanu NueLiebore monicker too.

    Reminds me of the online arguments I had with some BNP supporters who believe that anyone who doesn't agree with them are probably the reincarnation of Stalin or Karl Marx, ready to kill anyone who wants to put up a christmas decoration or sing 'baa baa black sheep'.

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  24. Serotonin,

    May I just remind you of the third comment on this thread, where "Socialist Comrade" plays Witch finder General, and turns a tongue in cheek video on the BBC into something "slanderous", "despicable" and "Racist". - I'm sure that Godwins Law was invented for the U.A.F, as we're all "Nazis" now.

    But for that I wouldn't be anywhere near this blog, but when I attempted to seek the "Comrade" out, to "chat", to him/her myself, well surprise surprise, there's no way of leaving comments on his/her own "Party of the people" self righteous blog.

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  25. I, too, have never voted Labour. Can't think that I ever would. Is everyone who things a great deal of the bilge at B-BBC is thinly-veiled pro-BNP bigotry, themselves a bigot and a raving-mad Zanu NueLiebore terrorist? Get a sense of perspective! It's a bit like the threads over at the BNP with the oft-repeated mantra that "the traitors will be dealt with": Vote Labour and get a knock at the door.

    And Dazed & Confused, it is entirely possible that some extra traffic was driven to your opus-magnum from here, and people voted accordingly: So what? As has been said before, logic is not your strong point.

    Now why don't you lock yourself away for about 6 months in readiness for the glorious new BNP government that is going to sweep away all ills and last for a thousand years.

    To get an overview of BBC, just look at their tag-cloud.

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  26. The last line of my previous post should have read:

    "To get an overview of B-BBC, just look at their tag-cloud."

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  27. Apricot Split,
    There we go again. - First establish the point "I have never voted Labour" - which seems to be a favourite comment on this blog. - Then bring in references to the B.N.P. (yawn), the usual tactic of New Labour bloggers, Internet wide.

    Once again I fear that I must refer you to Godwins Law.

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  28. "Once again I fear that I must refer you to Godwins Law"

    Nobody here is talking about Nazis or Hitler. Apart from you.

    Which, by your tortured logic, and the stupendously low burden of proof over at B-BBC, practically makes you Gordon Brown's mother, or Alastair Campbell's haemorrhoid, or Tony Blair's new age therapist.

    See? This game's really easy. Everyone can be a New Labour supporter in Dazed and Confused world. Thanks for playing.

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  29. Ex Anonymous,

    Once again I fear I must refer you to the third comment in this thread, which is why I'm here in the first place.

    One thing that I've noticed about this blog though, is that "Trolls" (me) usually keep their websites to themselves. Where-by those whom frequent the blog on a regular basis, (and therefore have numbers on their side) have no problem in revealing their identities for all to "Admire".

    Other than O.B.M.E. - I don't see a lot of that here....I wonder why.

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  30. "Once again I fear I must refer you to the third comment in this thread"

    That B-BBC contains some thinly (or not so thinly) veiled racism? Heaven forfend. Say it ain't so.

    "One thing that I've noticed about this blog though, is that "Trolls" (me)"

    One thing you'll notice about this blog is that nobody is calling you a troll.

    "those whom frequent the blog on a regular basis, (and therefore have numbers on their side) have no problem in revealing their identities for all to "Admire".

    I'd have a chat with your parents if you were genuinely christened "Dazed and Confused". They were prescient, to say the least.

    Oh, and here's a story for you. Over at B-BBC, back in 2005 a commenter called John Anderson, who still comments there occasionally under various monikers, took it upon himself to email another commenter's employers and threatened them. Anonymity is a wonderful antidote to paranoid loons who firmly believe they are fighting a political/cultural war in which no quarter must be given.

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  31. Apricot Split:

    The whole reason for the biased BBC blog, is to point out our State broadcasters allegiance toward a Socialist government. So as this is a blog that opposes certain biased BBC viewpoints, then one may rightly or wrongly assume, that it had been set up as a counter offensive by Socialists, to negate B-BBCs popularity.
    As I had never even heard of the commenter "Martin" until I found myself here, Id need to go and check out his comments for myself, before I could come back with any concrete view pertaining to peoples questions of "thinly veiled racism". - but I've never come across a blog yet that I agree with every comment espoused.
    On your line - "Do you think that New Labour voters are akin to paedophiles" - Well now who's sounding like a B.N.P. blogger? - Of course I don't! - but oddly enough I do oppose them as I'm sure that you may have guessed.
    On the point that my BBC video is ridiculous, well of course it is......but that's the whole point of "Tongue in cheek" toilet humour.

    Ex Anon:

    It's my voice against several that's why I'm a troll, and I've no problem in referring to the word in connection with myself, as it's a meaningless term to me but perhaps not to others.
    By the way, my names on my blog, which would be a pretty damned stupid thing to do if I was hiding anything. Perhaps a single occurrence in 2005 doesn't fill me with such paranoid dread that it seems to for you.

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  32. "It's my voice against several that's why I'm a troll"

    Good grief. There's your problem right there. A troll is someone who does the equivalent of throwing a stink bomb in the classroom, not an opposing view.

    It's why B-BBC is such an echo chamber: Vance's and others' wafer egos mean that opposing views are rarely tolerated and never wanted.

    You're welcome to put your name on your blog. If you think it's paranoid dread not to, more power to you.

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  33. You are confusing the admitted innate liberal bias that the BBC have with an allegiance to a political party. Willingly confusing I might add to further your own political bias.

    Anyway that link you posted has taken a lot of what the summit the BBC held and the subsequent report that was released in 2007 beyond out of context. Much as you are doing by stating that it hold an allegiance towards a socialist government. Liberal and socialist are not one and the same.

    Would you rather we had Fox News here than the BBC?

    And no you arent a troll. A troll is someone who takes an opposing viewpoint regardless of their beliefs to whip up anger and hostility. You are someone with an oposing view and agenda who is attempting to debate a point.
    Thats not trolling.

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  34. Serotonin,

    My only "Agenda" is that I've had my fill of this New Labour government and want them banished into oblivion. Period.

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  35. Dazed.

    A fair point. One you might be more profitably raising on a political blog, I'd have thought.

    Feel free to stick around if you wish. Speaking personally, I'd rather read a decent joke or two (though I feel I've already heard the Brown as Stalin joke rather a lot).

    Plus Private Eye does it far better than anyone else could.

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  36. @Dazed:
    "The whole reason for the biased BBC blog, is to point out our State broadcasters allegiance toward a Socialist government."
    That may be their stated aim, but have a good read of that site. Whilst I'm sure you'll find plenty of examples of people trying to honestly point out perceived bias, you'll find a lot more madness and down-right bigotry. Anyone who doesn't agree with them is a Rent Boy-Shagging, ZanuLieBore Beeboid Traior, etc.

    The Paedophile-Labour Supporter simile was on your YouTube channel. You engage with the commenters, but yet you let that one slip unchallenged.

    "Tongue in cheek" it may be, but the point I think the video was trying to make is still ridiculous.

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  37. Apricot Split

    I don't think that is the stated aim. It's much simpler:

    Exposing the reporting bias of the BBC

    Which would imply an even-handed process of research....

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  38. "then one may rightly or wrongly assume, that it had been set up as a counter offensive by Socialists, to negate B-BBCs popularity."
    I think B-BBC's popularity (such as it is) has definately tailed off since the thin-skinned Mr Vance took over.
    I should think about half the hits are BBC staff attracted to look in my much the same way you slow down to look at an accident on the opposite lane of the motorway.
    It certainly isn't the start of some sort of mass Anti-BBC uprising. Despite the combined ranks of Murdoch, The Mail and B-BBC most people in this country use and enjoy the BBC and are perfectly happy with it.

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