Monday, 28 September 2009

Josef Friztl, Fred West, Gabby Logan: All Scum.

The economy may still be limping, Chelsea may crash at Wigan, but one thing remains consistently strong in this imperfect world: The barely coherent rage of B-BBC's leading social commentator, Martin.

Who knows what sets off the trigger? This time it's a brief mention, by new B-BBC discussion leader DB, of a charming, though lightweight, Radio Five presenter..

The Tories really do need to rise the filth out called the BBC.

Run that past us again, Martin...

The Tories really do need to rise the filth out called the BBC.

The OMTE language labs give a 68% probability that you meant to say rinse out the filth called the BBC. But we lost two monitors and an array of hard drives in the process.

Gabby Logan is a vile piece of human scum, so she's perfect for the beeboids.

Gabby Logan? Oh, wait... we have a communication from your discussion leader, DB: What words do you have left for the genuine monsters of this world if Gabby Logan is vile human scum?

She's no Mengele certainly. Rose West perhaps?

She is vile human scum because she's a leftie beeboid.

Okey-dokey. Though even the B-BBC middle management is having trouble with your view. Have you anything to say to DB?

Have'nt you managed to get it through your effing thick left wing bonehead yet that I hate ALL beeboids and lefties?

First time on record that a Biased BBC trustee has been labelled an effing thick left wing bonehead. Let's reconsider your line on Gabby. This is the new civilised B-BBC after all...

She's scum vile scum, a parasite who can't get a real job.

Righty-ho. Anything more for DB?

Bes thing you could do arsehole is jump off a bridge.

Martin - he's on your side. Do you often have trouble with friendships?


  1. |Friendships with women? Of course. Because girls are only good for one thing. All the sex. With a lady. And Martin has done it loads. He sure loves the ladies.
    Friendships with men? Of course. Because what could be healthier than two guys in the gym. In the gym showers. Soaping... and then perhaps a little internal prostate massage to relieve the tension...

  2. Martin's got to be a troll, a really good one

  3. Chelsea may crash at Wigan
    or just nudge into Kensington a tad

  4. I was thinking "Martin" was a troll, but on reflection someone clever enough to establish the persona in all its facets over that length of time would have got bored with the game by now.

    I go with late 40s, possibly housebound, or at least literally "doesn't get out much". Possibly long-term unemployed but can't understand why, possibly forced into some shit job like 12-hour-shift overnight security guard. Overtaken by younger, sharper people in every aspect of his life, some (shock horror) not even white. No contact with females since school, when he was the one parents warned their kids off.

    And Vance's need for appproval is so great he would still (to use an image straight out of Martin's mindset) rather have this loser kiss his butt than ban him.