Dr Stalin Will See You Now

The privilege of following Biased BBC is that hidden worlds are revealed to your frankly terrified gaze: Like that bit in The Matrix, where poor Neo discovers we're all just fodder for some nameless, controlling evil.

The Chosen One at Biased BBC is the similarly charismatic, enigmatic, stroppy loner, David Vance. Lately, Keanu Vance and his bias dudes have been putting their heads through the melty mirror to reveal the terrible, totalitarian horror that is... the British health service. And guess who has been keeping us all in the dark about this hell-on-earth?

No waaay, dude: Not the BBC. Again.

nrg: (The NHS) is Stalinistic in nature and it kills. Not in the same league as the Gulags, but do give it time.

Say it can't be true. Little Jimmy's just about to have his grommets done.

It is a matter of satisfaction to me that as you mistakenly trust the socialists to medicate you at their discretion you and your family will die in a pile of their own dirt on a trolley after waiting 10 hours for treatment.

(Sob)

you really believe that the Beeboid vermin do not spew propagada on behalf of the Stalinist killing machine that is the NHS?

Until (gasp) now. (Wail into tissue)

Really? My goodness, but you are and blind lying arsehole.

nrg, I know I'm emotional. But could you work on the bedside manner a bit?

David Vance has the big picture:

do not accept that the NHS is anything other than a neo Stalinist projection of socialist values long past its sell-by date.

Agent Smith was bad enough. But Stalin? Again?

If it were a patient, leftists would be booking it an appointment with Dignatas.

Mother! Cancel Jimmy's appointment. We'll get him a gerbil instead.

DJ is prepping 150 ml of sarcasm to calm down the BBC's attempts to contextualise a critical report about the NHS:

And while we're on the subject, what about all those patients Harold Shipman didn't kill? Are we losing sighe of the fact Harold was a great doctor, providing he didn't murder you?

It's bad enough that Jimmy's hearing is fuzzy. Please God...don't make him lose his sighe as well. Whatever that is.

Perhaps the local Infirmary just needs a new boss or two. A tough-guy Tory, maybe. What do you think Sam Duncan?

the finest collection of managerial geniuses on the planet couldn't make a Stalinist bodge-job like the NHS work.

OK. But at least the carers are trying their best? Surely, Neil the Plumber?

One aspect that I haven't heard in the discussion of the care of the elderly is the racial one.

True. What could you be getting at?

Quite simply put, I contend that people tend to have more fellow-feeling for people of their own ethnic/racial group.

Dear God. If Jimmy survives the Stalinist death gangs, the Islamics will get him instead. Or possibly the Poles.

I suspect this isn't so much an issue at the professional level of doctors and nurses, but rather one of nursing/care assistants and health visitors.

If one of those domestics lays a finger, I swear I'll do time.

I think we all need cheering up. David Vance, show us the sunny side of bias-hunting. Know any good jokes?

The punchline is that the NHS is a corrupted bloated bureaucracy more interested in itself than in patients.

Mother, sell Jimmy to the travelling fair. We'll need the cash for our BUPA fees.