Tuesday, 4 August 2009

The Secret Of Happiness: Rape

Fritigern has found the secret of human happiness, and thanks to a boisterous Biased BBC debate on crime, he shares it with us. (Crime is all the BBC's fault, by the way).

The key ingredients to perfect bliss are - and this may surprise you - violence, rape and robbery. (Perhaps not a surprise that Fritigern's name is borrowed from a warrior-leader of the 4th Century Goths.)

A year or so ago I was made really happy

Good for you. You deserve it.

when I read that a Member of the Scottish Parliament had been beaten up...

Ah.... Did he owe you money?

...beaten up by low life from a council estate.

Perhaps he owed them money?

I just wish that our criminal fraternity would attack, rape and burgle

That would make a change. Them being criminals and all.

attack, rape and burgle MPs , MSps, councillors, beeboids

Glad you got the Beeboids in. They're the worst.

but most of all Judges, magistrates, sheriffs and lawyers.

That's a lot of rape and pillage. Should we sub-contract it to the Danes?

Perhaps then the powers that be might protect the ordinary citizens from the depredations of the sub-human scum who infest this country.


Can't quite put my finger on it, but encouraging sub-human scum to attack, burgle and, um, rape thousands of people might have limitations as a crime-reduction strategy.

Can we get back to you on that?


  1. Ever get the feeling you are talking to yourself?

  2. Surely it's only talking to yourself if nobody is listening? I am and, presumably, anonymous is too. This is way too abstract for me!

  3. If a tree falls in a forest... will Biased BBC blame the BBC?

  4. I suspect so. It'll be the BBC's continued Islamification of trees what dun it.

  5. Apparently the Xmas Tree in White City will be decorated in a burqua. Sorry, Winter Holiday Tree.