Fritigern has found the secret of human happiness, and thanks to a boisterous Biased BBC debate on crime, he shares it with us. (Crime is all the BBC's fault, by the way).
The key ingredients to perfect bliss are - and this may surprise you - violence, rape and robbery. (Perhaps not a surprise that Fritigern's name is borrowed from a warrior-leader of the 4th Century Goths.)
A year or so ago I was made really happy
Good for you. You deserve it.
when I read that a Member of the Scottish Parliament had been beaten up...
Ah.... Did he owe you money?
...beaten up by low life from a council estate.
Perhaps he owed them money?
I just wish that our criminal fraternity would attack, rape and burgle
That would make a change. Them being criminals and all.
attack, rape and burgle MPs , MSps, councillors, beeboids
Glad you got the Beeboids in. They're the worst.
but most of all Judges, magistrates, sheriffs and lawyers.
That's a lot of rape and pillage. Should we sub-contract it to the Danes?
Perhaps then the powers that be might protect the ordinary citizens from the depredations of the sub-human scum who infest this country.
Can't quite put my finger on it, but encouraging sub-human scum to attack, burgle and, um, rape thousands of people might have limitations as a crime-reduction strategy.
Can we get back to you on that?